Ok, I couldn’t find Biblical evidence for this, but as usual stick with me. There is a point.
The side hug is a blight on American society that I thoroughly detest. It is when two persons generally of opposite genders feel more than a verbal greeting or awkward handshake is necessary, but at least one party doesn’t feel a close enough bond with the other to engage in a normal hug. So each party offers one another only a single arm. It’s embarrassingly somehow now closely associated with Christians. Don’t believe me? An example of this monstrosity is the front cover of the book Stuff Christians Like.
Noooooo!
Many of my friends have heard me speak passionately on this topic and know firmly where I stand. I feel you are either close enough to engage in traditional frontal hugging or you are not. There is no 3rd category for side hugging. The only time I should be putting a singular arm around a friend’s far shoulder is because a third party is pointing a camera at our smiling faces as we say cheese.
I feel there are two main reasons that side hugs occur:
- The two parties normally never would consider hugging but they feel obligated to. This is often times a result of the two having been apart so long (such as summer vacation) that they now feel required to recognize this long span of separation in some special manner (engaging in a side hug), but not too special of a manner (engaging in a traditional hug).
- Person A likes Person B much more than Person B likes Person A. Person A goes in for a real hug, but Person B uses the side hug as a defense mechanism to prevent Person A from getting too close.
- There’s actually a final reason irrelevant to this post that sends shudders up my spine to discuss it: the awkward car hug. It won’t be discussed further. It hurts too much.
So I’ve clearly laid out my feelings (or lack of) about side hugs. Since I clearly despise them so much surely I’d never use one. Right? And never with ones who truly care about me. Best friends: Real hugs. Family: Oh look, more real hugs. God: Umm, well actually. About that.
This is likely the most ridiculous parallel I’ve ever used to describe our relationship with God, but I think it’s dead on:
way too often we only offer God a side hug
How often do we follow the first and greatest commandment in Matthew 22:37 and ‘Love the Lord with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our mind’? Whenever I love God with some of my heart and part of my soul and a little bit of my mind (which is way too often), it’s the same as me telling Him He’s only good enough for a side hug. It’s like I’m in the Old Testament and giving Him an injured or sick animal as my offering instead of the finest of my flocks.
Luke warm people side hug God. And though the Bible never speaks against side hugging, it does make it very clear how Jesus feels about being luke warm.
Jesus speaks to the church of Laodicea in Rev. 3:15-16:
I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were
either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm – neither
hot nor cold- I am about to spit you out of my mouth.
So it’s very clear that we should love God fully and shouldn’t be luke warm. Where are we likely to be guilty of this though? Let’s go back to my top 2 reasons people side hug.
1. They feel obligated to. Maybe they haven’t seen each other in a while.
Often times we realize oh no, I haven’t spent time with God in too long, and I need to fix that. So we spend some half-hearted time with Him and treat it like a task on a to-do list. Since our heart’s not really in it, neither God nor us gets anything out of this.
Imagine if God only offered us a side hug out of obligation when He hadn’t seen us in a while or because He felt it was the right thing to do. I think we’d all experience a lot less love from Him than we do now. How wonderful that even when we stray we are treated like the prodigal’s son and run toward with open arms upon our return!
Loving God should never be treated as an obligation. It should be the only response we have to our Father and Creator. We should love God so much we never want Him to leave our arms, not because we feel like we’re supposed to. Nobody wants a hug from somebody if they only give you one because they feel like they should, and God doesn’t either. He wants a hug complete with two arms and a whole lot of heart.
2. One person wants to give a full hug, but the other doesn’t want to reciprocate.
It’s obvious that God loves us more than we love Him. The entire Bible is one big love story about His love for us. He wants to give us the biggest hug he can, but why don’t we love Him enough in return to give Him a big hug too?
If you asked Christians do you believe God loves you and wants the best for you we’d all say of course. If you asked do you believe your life will be better if you love God fully once again we’d all say yes. But why don’t we live like we believe these things?
I think we’re scared to love God with all our heart, soul and mind. Actually scratch that- I know we are. At least at times. I know I am. What if He asks me to do something I’m not comfortable with? To completely alter the plans I had made for myself? To guide my future? We hate giving up control of our own lives. We can be so self-centered we think we know better than God. But can we not all think of at least 1 (or 101) times that we thought we knew best and later discovered (sometimes too late) we were dead wrong? I can.
God wants what is best for us. And you know what’s best for us? Loving Him with all we have. Deep down we all know that, but we also know that’s often not what is easiest for us. However, it is what brings the most reward in the end and the most glory to the Lord. The best part is God loves us so much we can ask for anything in accordance with His will and we can have it. I guarantee you that asking Him for the ability to love Him more is in accordance with His will. He loves us so much He helps us love Him.
So next time you say you love God mean it. Show it.
Give Him absolutely everything. Don’t hold anything back.
God wants all of you: heart, mind, soul…and both arms.
The Christian side hug pandemic has grown so large a rap song was written about it. Enjoy.
Thanks and credit to Owen Weddle for discovery of this video.
