NEVER ENDING PEACE AND LOVE
This month has honestly been hard. But not for the reason that most would think. Not because I am in a different country. Not because it is month 5. Not because I was made the treasurer of my team. Not because it rained everyday because I love me some rainy afternoons. Not for any of those reasons. This month has been difficult because it has been out of my ordinary comfort zone. This month has been full of rest, relationships, and refinement.
Refinement – the state of being refined; to improve or perfect by pruning or polishing (Isaiah 48:10)
Pruning – to cut off or cut back parts of for better shape or more fruitful growth (John 15)
Polishing – to bring to a highly developed, finished, or refined state (Isaiah 49:2)
If you know me it is hard to rest. But more importantly than that, it is hard for me to rest alone. I want to always be with people. But something that I have learned is that the Lord is jealous for my attention. He wants to spend time with me. So for that to happen, I need to rest alone with him. That can look different each day but all he wants is me and my attention for him. Some days my time with him is journaling, listening to music, or just sitting. Other days it is in prayer, reading his word, or again, just sitting. These times have actually become some of my favorite moments. Especially living in a community where there is always teammates around.
Relationships, well I love relationships with others but I cannot promise that I am always the best at relationships. Not only am I not always the greatest at asking questions but I am also not always the best at knowing what to do or say when the conversation becomes dry. But this month has been the complete opposite. Because I have learned that if you do not go out looking for those relationships, they will not come to you. I have learned that sometimes I choose not to go and pursue conversations because others probably won’t be interested. Others won’t want to take the time. Others won’t care. But something I have learned being in 5 plus different countries now is that they do. And the reason they do care and want to take the time is because they want to be seen and known just as much as I do. So for me to survive and thrive here in Nepal, I had to seek out relationships and awkward conversations with strangers. Because in the end, awkward conversations sometimes bring the best blessings.
Refinement has also been hard this month. Sometimes being willing to be refined can cause a great deal of pain inside. It can cause you to lay down old hurts, as well as, step out of your comfort bubble. The Lord has really been speaking over me hope, perseverance, and refinement this month. Through different teachings and then just spending some time reading 1 Peter. The word pruning has been on my mind since debrief about how the Lord prunes us so that we can continue to grow. And then these past couple of weeks the Lord has been showing me that through refinement there is polishing that occurs in my life. Through the circumstances and the fire that we sometimes walk in, we are being refined, pruned, and polished for the better. I have loved hearing a learning from the Lord in these different areas but have especially loved that the Lord has brought them all together.
