Today I gave away my guitar Beulah.
If I'm being honest, it was something I struggled with for several days, whether or not I could truly give her away and have a sincere heart in it and keep from asking for her back.
The church we served at this month has been in prayer for church instruments for sometime and when I heard that the first Sunday the thought to give them mine popped in my head. Quickly selfishness took over and my thoughts became ones that reassured me it was MY Beulah, no one else's and how crazy it would be to give her away.
As the month passed the thought just kind of sat and churned in my mind, but eventually it made way to my heart.
This past Sunday while we were at church Patrick, the cook, played his guitar during praise. It was the first time I'd seen him with a guitar, he played so well. But as I looked at his guitar it was worn out from years of playing and sitting in the kitchen uncased. It was obvious that it had served a hard, but good life. Based on the way he played it, I'm sure it's changed many lives. Immediately I knew that the decision no longer wavered in my mind, but that my heart knew I wanted to give him Beulah. It was unquestionable.
I love leading worship. Creating that place that people can come and encounter God, however, I'm not as talented as a lot of people so I'm quick to take a back seat. There were times that I got to lead worship on the Race and I know that there will be times to come, but the worship I would have led with Beulah would pale in comparison to the worship that will be led from Patrick playing her.
I asked Ben and Christine if it would be ok to donate my guitar to Patrick and they were so excited. They explained to me that Patrick had been wanting to start guitar lessons for the students at the school, but that they didn't have another guitar for him to do it. To me that was all the affirmation I needed to know that it was a exactly what God had in store for Beulah all along.
There is a joy that overtook my heart knowing that Beulah will raise up numerous worship leaders for years to come. Knowing that there will be youth literally all over Kenya that will have something extra to bring when it comes time to praise God. Youth that will be more on fire to praise God because they can play guitar while they sing.
I love it when God takes over your selfish desires and turns them into a perfect opportunity to bring Himself more glory.
When we got to the school I told Patrick that I wanted him to have my guitar, that I knew he would do much greater things with it than I could and that now he could teach the kids. He was beside himself with excitement. I apologized and told him that it was a little girly, but he quickly replied as he strummed how beautifully tuned it was.
It was an intimate time between me and God. Him filling me with joy and the peace of knowing He would receive the glory and the honor and the power forever and ever in part because of Beulah.
