There are over 7,046,000,000 people in this world with about 360,000 being born a day. That’s about 15,000 birthdays… an hour, but 150,000 people die per day. So how could one person matter? How could you possibly matter? Or me or my family or my friends? How could any one person matter? Approximately 3,000 people a day can’t find this answer. So what do they do?
These 3,000 go fishining for concrete and paint the walls with their blood. Yes, suicide. All because nobody has a good answer. If you ever thought this life would be easy, you were mistaken. If someone ever told you that life was going to be easy… well, to be frank, they lied to you. Because no matter who you are, whether your stupid rich or dirt poor, you will face challenges. Between grief, pain, and anger, EVERYBODY will face hardship. It’s in the hardship and the hurt that this question gets asked, “How could I possibly matter?”
After I watched someone bleed out in front of me, I asked myself this hard and dangerous question. They got caught in between the bullet that was aimed for me. I was just starting to explore faith in Christ when this happened. I was not yet a devoted Christian. It was because of this that I became severely depressed and suicidal. There wasn’t an hour that went by when I was awake that I didn’t think of at least 3 ways to kill myself.
I still struggle with depression off and on, but it was in this severe brokenness that God rebuilt me in His image. It was also the time that I fiddled with this eternal question, “How can one person matter? It would be okay if I left. All would be right no, all would be better.” This is what I would always say to myself. And I believe everybody will ask this question at some point in they’re life.
Let me answer it for all of you who ask it: One person doesn’t matter. Please let me explain. If you put one person in their own habitat for their entire life, they will do nothing important. Their life would be a waste. This is my theory, at least. Because it’s not anything one person does- it’s the interactions with others that matter. It’s about who has influenced them, and who they influence. Every person interacts with and changes so many people’s lifes without even knowing it. So yes, it’s not the person that matters. It’s they’re interactions. You matter because of the influence you have on people.
It is our job as followers of Christ to use this influence to bring people into a happier life of knowing God and having a relationship with him. So when you fall and ask the question, “how do I possibly matter?” You get back up and remember why. You put one foot in front of the next. Whether your bank account is overdrawn for the third time this month, your power or water gets turned off… again, you’re ashamed of your sin and hurt, or not being able to support your family, you have to keep fighting because life is a bully and will keep knocking you down. Again and agin and agin and sometimes it will seem never ending. When the coffee isn’t strong enough and you turn to something with more of a kick, you have to remember that life will keep you down if you let it. So turn to God’s grace, His Love, and His strength. Instead of trying to fix it yourself, turn to Him. I don’t know where we got off thinking we could ever fix something ourselves. We say, “Lord you saved me, but now since I’m in this struggle, I must get enough strength to brake these chains.” YOU CAN’T! You will never break your own chains. Only God can so turn to him. When you’re broken, He is whole. When you are weak, He is strong. When you can’t, God can. So When you get knocked down again, get back up and think about the people that you influence and the people that Love you.
Hey everyone! Thanks for reading this blog. I truly poured so much into it. I don’t think I have written a blog with more of my own frustration and passion behind it. It is now the night of December 22 which means I have approximately 8 and a half days to become fully funded… or I get sent home. So if you enjoyed this blog, please do me a huge huge favor and donate $1. Just a single dollar will go a major distance if all my readers donated. If you want to give more, that would be unbelievably appreciated! Even if you want to give monthly, that to would be amazing. With christmas right around the corner, if you want to donate as a christmas gift, please do not hesitate. Also, please comment and share. As always, you are appreciated and loved. You are my inspiration to keep pouring out my story and my Heart like this. Once again, thanks for reading! I Love y’all.
