Most of my squad, and most definitely anyone who has been on a team with me, has heard me say over and over the word “Beauty-filled”! It’s one of the many made up words my sister says and it has stuck with me. I use it every chance I get, and those closest to me have picked it up, as well. When I use the word, most of the time it is said as a complete joke and I am just being the goof that I am. But on a rare occasion this word is used to describe something much deeper.
Have you ever struggled to see yourself as beautiful?
I sure have! For me, it used to be a daily fight to look at myself in the mirror and not pick apart everything about myself. Because of the brokenness inside of me, I couldn’t view myself through my Fathers eyes.
Last year, my pastor did a teaching on Identity in Christ. He asked us if we believed that God is perfect in all that He does, and do we think that He makes any mistakes? We all answered no, of course. Then he told us that every time we look in the mirror and pick apart the person staring back at us we are telling God that He made a mistake, that He is in fact not perfect in all that He does. Psalm 139 says that he knit me together in my mother’s womb and he knows my inner most being. So, basically He intentionally made me exactly the way that I am.
For me, this teaching changed everything. Who was I to define beauty? Is true beauty really what we look like or is it what is on the inside?
So, instead of trying to alter my appearance, I accepted every part of me as a gift and started focusing on letting God change the real ugly part of me: my heart. Now, that’s something that can really change. The process of softening my heart and removing the ugliness within me was painful, but I can truly say that the Lord was making me beautiful from the inside out.
Not only did this teaching change the way I viewed myself, it changed the way I viewed others. A couple weeks ago during our month of ministry in Latvia, we had the opportunity to help out with an event in a tent our host had organized. On the second night of the event, some of the girls from my team and I stood up front for worship. As we worshipped, a girl with special needs came up to me and gave me a huge hug! She took me by the hand and started dancing with me. I must admit that at first my pride clouded my view because of the audience standing behind us, but I soon broke free from that pride and danced before the Lord alongside this sweet girl. I loved watching her worship the Lord with such freedom and couldn’t keep myself from smiling because of the contagious grin she wore on her face.
However, in the midst of all our freedom, a group of kids came and interrupted our dancing. They thought they were doing me a service by letting me know that this girl was dirty, unclean, unwanted, and ugly. The only thing I heard after those words was the voice of the Lord gently whispering to me all the thoughts He had for this special girl. I felt the love He felt for her deep in my heart and saw her through my Father’s eyes. He told me that she was precious to Him, and that she was the definition of true beauty. He kept telling me over and over that He doesn’t make mistakes and that He loves this creation.
So, I looked each of the kids in the eye and told them they were wrong. I told them the truth about what she really meant to the Lord and that she is loved and she is of great value to God; I told them that she was beautiful. They were shocked by my response probably because they are used to people agreeing with them, and ran away still unchanged by my words, laughing all along the way.
What touched my heart the most was that this young girl was so unaffected by their mean words and teasing. She just kept dancing and singing. She was unmoved, even despite the mean glares and jokes thrown her way. She even ran outside and picked enough flowers in the field to pass out to each person sitting in that tent. Now that was beauty-filled!
I think of how the Lord is refining me and making me more confident in the way He has made me. I would be lying if I told you I was unaffected by the judgmental looks from others and the words aimed to cut me down. I still struggle to walk confidently in my own skin. But what I love about my imperfections is that the Lord is changing me to see them as beautiful. He is changing my view of what true beauty really is and He is making me beautiful from the inside out.
Let the Lord change your perspective. Let Him change the perspective you have of yourself and others. Look for the beauty that is inside a person, not what you see at first glance based on appearance. Allow the Lord to show you all that is BEAUTY-FILLED!!
