In this giddy celebration of love, my goal is to think beyond the cozy heart-throbbing butterfly sort of feeling that’s often portrayed in romantic cinema. Back in the states, people celebrate “Single Awareness Day” on February 14th as a humorous alternative for those who are… well, single. It’s caught the attention of many, but I think that it’s the S.A.D.dest of (unofficial) holidays. Let’s be real… a double date with Ben&Jerry is nothing but a temporary fix.
I’ve told a number of my friends, in previous years, that I don’t wanna to get married. I’m always left with a bitter taste in my mouth because all my confession is is a mask I had adopted. If truly I had no need for love, I’d be a different species as I wouldn’t fit Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. And I’d like to think I’m pretty human. Maybe a little weirder than most humans but really, who isn’t? No, my tendency to avoid participation in my girlfriends’ conversations of “happily ever after” root from the fact that I’ve been hurt one too many times to believe in such fairytales. It was never a lack of desire, but rather a lack of good example. Guys, whom I’ve deemed significant at a time in my life, have only ever given me false hopes, lies… Though some time has passed, still, on my World Race journey God continues to heal me of wounds that have scarred me… wounds that have affected not only how I see guys as a collective whole, but how I see myself.
From a Christian standpoint, one purpose of marriage is companionship. In the book of Genesis, Adam was given Eve as a helper because God saw that he was lonely. Throughout the Bible it is also evident how marriage is a beautiful reflection of the different aspects or characteristics of God – His strength, patience, unconditional love, and so on. Despite the disappointing divorce rates, God has softened my heart to understand that there’s something between man and woman that is powerful. Satan, since the Garden of Eden, has tried to manipulate & separate what God intended to be “very good”… Why is that?
I’ve recently started to ponder this question: Who is the woman I want to be? As I’m writing this blog, I’m surprising myself because for far too long I’ve had a me-against-the-world mentality. So to confess that I believe God is preparing me for marriage, is one heck of a big girl step. In the past, the Lord has been my physical provider, discipliner, and comforter. On the race I’m experiencing Him in a new unexpected way – as a relentless pursuer of my heart. I’ll conclude with this brief answer:
Who is the woman I want to be?
I want to be a woman…whose name fits her like a glove
So that “grace from heaven” will be more than a definition, it will be a life application
I want to close the gap between my heart and head with unmeasurable forgiveness
How cool would it be if I contagiously and outrageously love… and love and love!
I want to courageously pioneer heights and depths,
Only ever settling wherever the Lord thinks best
Perhaps be like David, who at the forefront of war did not hesitate to fight as a great warrior
And who in his storms still worshipped in melodious song!
I hope I’m not being too general; but maybe I’ll say this one last thing
I want to be a mother, whose children will proudly look up to
And I want to be the wife… to the man the Lord already knows I’ll wholeheartedly say ‘I do’ to
