My first week in Tanzania has been welcomed by an infection, parasite and house arrest. It’s the worst I’ve felt on the race so far but I survived and am ready to join back with my team! Thank you for praying.
So if I was sick all week, what do I have to blog about? Other than the fact that I’ve explored every room in the house; which took all of about 6 minutes, counted how many tiles are in the bedroom; 73, and watched an army of ants carry away a huge roach; much more entertaining than you might imagine, I have been thinking a lot.
About what, you may ask? I’m sure you would guess it’s some deep theological topic or maybe a life shattering revelation. Well…maybe…it depends on how you look at it.
I grew up in a Christian family, went to Sunday school my whole life (and not just because I got $1 for going every week when I was little). I remember the foam story boards of all the famous Bible characters and what happened in their lives. But for some reason, this week, in Tanzania, while being sick, I realized…
That God doesn’t make a whole lot of sense most of the time.
Woah. Hold it right there. Did you hear me right? Read the sentence again. God. Doesn’t. Make. A. Whole. Lot. Of. Sense. Most. Of. The. Time. In our human minds anyway. Yeah…deep huh? Let it sink in.
I mean, He asked Noah to build a big boat in the desert where it never rained. It didn’t make any sense that the Israelites walked around Jericho for seven days singing “Kum Bah Yah” while everyone on the walls laughed at them. He told Moses to charge toward the Red Sea with Pharaoh’s attacking army bearing down on them. It didn’t make any sense to be willing to kill Isaac before he could grow up and have kids himself so that Abraham could be the father of a nation, with descendants as diverse as the stars. Why would He put a young, innocent, virgin girl’s life at stake by using her to give birth to Jesus? We won’t even discuss the donkey who talked. And what about that girl, Alana? Selling her possessions and raising $15,000 to live out of a backpack, traveling the world for 11 months. Now that doesn’t make any sense at all! Oh wait…that’s me.
So as I have about 7 weeks left before coming home, I’ve been praying into what the future looks like for me. After traveling this long and so much it sounds really nice to spend my future at Spa Sydell or a nice fluffy couch somewhere air conditioned with wifi, cable and endless sweet tea. But that makes sense. And the God I serve doesn’t seem to make a lot of it. Don’t get me wrong, I will be catching up on sleep, taking ridiculously long, hot showers (I have a lot of dirt to remove), and eating all the foods I’ve been missing, but that should only take a few weeks or so.
I don’t have exact answers yet, but I’m dreaming big and looking for something that is out of reach for me in my own power to do. Something that when you hear about what I’m doing you think, “well that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.”
