Tonight we did one of my favorite things here — we handed out Bibles to the Chinese. Yep — the Chinese. There is a pier here in Pattaya that has several boats where people go out for a short dinner cruise and most of those people are from China. As the literal masses pass by us, we offer free Bibles. This is a really cool opportunity because China is cracking down on some of their Bible allowances but here we just give them to the people. As so many pass us, we hold out the Word & say “free” & “Bible” in our best Chinese.
Unfortunately, if you say “Bible” wrong, it comes out as “crazy person”, so yeah…pretty sure I said “free crazy person” to a lot of confused Chinese people, but that’s why we trust God that He’ll get His Word into the right hands 😉
Many pass by & refuse to look at us. Others read the sign & walk away quickly. Some mock us, which seems fair considering how bad our Chinese is, but I don’t think that’s really why they’e usually mocking. It often happens when they read the only sign that says “Jesus Loves You” in 4 different languages.
The other large group of people that frequent the pier is the Russians. They usually make fun of us in our own language AND theirs. But we just smile & offer them a Bible anyways because we do have a small number of Russian Bibles.
Sometimes nobody will take a Bible for 15 minutes at a time & we will take a minute to pray that God will bring us the people He’d have to receive His Word.
So yeah…only a very small number of people actually take the Bible, but when they do — oh, man! So exciting! Sometimes their friends either talk them out of it or even take it away from them, give it back to us, & them drag them away, but those are the people we trust God will pursue at another time.
But the few in the host of people who take the Bibles are usually pretty excited. Some even cry. Every time it makes it worth it.
But tonight was different than the others. Usually I either just pass Bibles or hold the sign that says “free Bibles”. But tonight I instead held the sign that said “Jesus Loves You”.
It got the usual mocking comments, but it also attracted the attention of someone else. A man from the States, in fact. He began talking to me & I thought for a moment we were on the same page. It turned out we weren’t at all.
“They’re not worth it,” he said, speaking of the Chinese rushing by us. “Only 1 in 10 will even take the Bible & most of those won’t read it. & these are bad people! It’s not worth it.”
My heart plummeted. I tried to argue with him that it was worth that one person getting God’s Word! That us being here was God pursuing the Chinese people & even one having the Word of God was exactly why we stand on the pier for 4 hours, 3 nights/week. This was our heart.
But he couldn’t agree.
I also shared that we got to spend some time with women in the red light district & some of the women coming out of prostitution who are choosing new paths & pursuits. I was excited but again he shook his head.
He tried to tell me that those women all chose this life style. That some of them left good jobs to get into the sex industry for the money. It broke my heart.
I tried to tell him about some of the women we had met, how some were forced into this life, some were supporting entire families, & some grew up in it & literally know nothing else. & how they have zero clue about women’s health issues — they literally don’t even understand how birth control works so many of them end up pregnant. Their lack of understanding of how to even care for their own bodies has become a burden of mine.
Again, he couldn’t receive this. No — they must know. He just couldn’t believe it.
Then he told me about a woman who came out of a job at the Hard Rock Cafe to work as a prostitute, & how all the women were like that — they chose their life. He said that should have been enough money for her to live on.
I asked him if that woman had kids.
He said yes.
So was the Hard Rock Cafe paying enough to keep her kids off the street & fed?
He couldn’t answer.
One thing I’ve learned about these women is that many of them have children, & most of them are very proud of those children & love them dearly. They are working FOR their children.
It was one of the saddest conversations I ever had, with no resolution. It ended in him saying he was stuck between a rock & a hard place — if he didn’t purchase the services of these women, they might not have anything to eat. But if he did, he felt like a bad guy.
“No problem, friend — I’ve got a solution for you! If you are worried that you are her income, buy her groceries!”
“Oh, no — I can’t do that! She might be a bad person.”
Whaaaaaat….
“Buddy, I’M not a good person!”
“No, I know that you are. I see you out here & what you’e doing — you’re a good person. But they’re not like you.”
“They’re exactly like me.” & I proceeded to tell this perfect stranger about my baggage & why I’m not any better than any of these people passing by us or even the women on the street. The only difference is, God has taken my baggage, forgiven me, & redeemed my life.
But even with me admitting the ugliness of my own sin, he just couldn’t accept what I was saying. One day soon I’ll write a blog about Alex — she’s the reason I even had the courage to share my story with him — but we’ll get there another day.
We ended pleasantly enough after that, but my heart was sad for his willing ignorance & blind eye to the truth. I hated that he left still thinking that these people around me were not worth it, nor were the girls on the street. I felt pretty bummed. But then there was my precious Bert.
It’s not his real name, but he was such an important part of my night! He also approached me & asked if we were handing out Bibles.
“Yes! & I have one in English! Would you like one?”
The Brit shook his head.
“I messed up,” he told me.
I knew there was something wrong — he hadn’t been able to look me in the eyes from the moment we began talking.
“I came with the best intentions, but–” he swallowed. “I messed up.”
“Bert! It’s okay! God totally wants to forgive you & redeem that!”
But he still could barely meet my eyes as he told me he knew better, so wouldn’t God condemn him?
“Oh, no Bert — God wants to forgive & renew you! He wants to be close to you — that’s why you met me! Because God is pursuing you! He is using me to show you that He wants you to come to Him!”
Bert had a tiny flicker of hope in his eyes, so I tried again to offer the English Bible to him.
“I just can’t,” he said, physically withdrawing from it as if it caused him pain.
“Are you sure? You CAN, Bert!”
“No,” he said. There was a weak smile & then he turned to leave.
“Bert!” I called after him. “Can I pray for you?”
I had only meant as he was on his way, but he came back to me! So I reached out & laid a hand on his arm as we bowed our heads together on the pier.
Amidst the rush of hundreds of Chinese & Russian people, I got to ask God to keep pursuing Bert. To show Bert His love & how much He wanted to forgive, renew, & restore Bert…to give him joy again.
When we’d finished, Bert looked me straight in the eyes for the first time & said thank you before walking away.
That night we were headed out to do a prayer walk in the red light streets & my mind was full of those conversations. The man who didn’t think the Chinese people or the women on the street were worth my time, & that precious man — wracked with guilt — who didn’t think he was worthy of forgiveness.
So much heartache in one night.
But the thing is, that’s not the full story. The full story is that every. Single. Woman. Man. & child is worth it. Is worth the time standing there holding out Bibles. Is worth being mocked. Is worth being rejected. The girls on the street — even if they chose that life — are completely worth it, & so is this precious man so broken by his own weakness. They’re all worth it just like I am worth it even though some days I feel like I’m not. We ARE worth it, because that’s how God sees us.
He sent Jesus — His precious one & only Son into the world to save us from any & every offense we’ve committed against Him. Jesus died in our place for every sin — no matter how ugly. He doesn’t compare us or our sins, He just wants us to wake up & see our need for what He has to offer! He already paid the price for our sin, & now He is offering COMPLETE forgiveness — a fresh slate! He wants to redeem our past & make us new in Him.
This is what Jesus has done for me & this is what Jesus wants for EVERY PERSON, no matter who they are or what they’ve done. If you are reading this & your heart is pounding, it’s because you already know — this is God pursuing you.
YOU ARE WORTH IT to Him & He will never give up on you.
He changed me & continues to protect, guide, & love me better than I could have ever imagined…He knows my deepest needs, is patient, & has huge dreams for my life, & best of all — when I asked for forgiveness & accepted His free gift of His salvation, He adopted me into His family! I get to call the Creator of the Universe Dad, & so can you.
Two men left without taking advantage of all God offers today…don’t follow their example. God is crazy about you & wants you to know Him. If you’ve wandered away or have just stop caring, He wants you back & will fight for you! Don’t be mistaken — this IS Him pursuing you…will you say yes to Him, precious one? He is there with open arms — come to Him & truly find peace, joy, & rest.
