The Race is filled with all kinds of experiences. Sometimes there are difficult paths & unexpected changes. There are fun times & heart-breaking encounters. There is beauty & hope. I’ve spent time writing about a lot of these things.
But there are also the in between moments. There are times where things are exactly as they are at home. Sometimes we get bored. Sometimes we’re frustrated with each other. & sometimes we need a break. This blog is about a break I didn’t even know I needed.
Kosova has been one of my hardest months. Our whole squad is together, which I thought I’d love. But it turns out it hasn’t been that great. The ministry has been one that I understand — it’s just work that needs to be done & we’re doing it — it’s real life, not glamorous or special, just work — & that’s okay.
Kosova itself is amazing…it’s just a little baby country getting on its feet & I love cheering for the people here. They are wonderful & I won’t forget them. & as I mentioned in my last post, my buddy Maggie wrote a fantastic blog about it that will help you understand. But it’s still been a hard month, & I just needed a minute.
So I ran away.
Okay, not exactly, but I did hop on a bus with 4 friends & went to Macedonia, so I want to give you a little glimpse into my time away because it wasn’t just time away — it was a very sweet time of my soul being refreshed.
Macedonia.
Didn’t know much about it, just that I wanted to go. We went to the city of Skopje & all I had heard about it was that there were tons of statues. & that was no joke — they were EVERYWHERE. But it was way cooler than I could have imagined, & the moment we started exploring the city I felt at home. It might be a city but it was small, pretty relaxed, & easy to navigate. I felt some of the tension leave & couldn’t stop smiling — this was exactly what I needed.
Yesterday we had a pretty chill day of exploring the shops & the statues…I honestly didn’t even take that many pictures because I was just enjoying being there. Thankfully, Cassie got some great ones so you can thank her if you see anything you like 😉 I got to catch up a bit with some people from my squad who I’ve never been on a team with & also my girl Alyssa who I’m always happy to hang out with. It was a really relaxing day & I was very thankful.
Today started in one of the best cafes I’ve ever visited. Not only was everything absolutely fantastic but it was just a really chill & fun atmosphere. Their menu mentioned available hugs as well 😉 Nothing like starting your day with delicious food, great coffee, & pleasant people. We were all pretty pleased as we walked away to the main even of the day — the Mother Teresa Memorial House.
This is the church next to the memorial house.
Now, I’m not Catholic so I don’t know much about saints or traditions or anything like that, just that Mother Teresa was super well known for all she had done serving. In Pristina — the place we were staying in Kosova — they had a church dedicated to her. I knew she was from the area, but not a lot more than that, so I had read a short biography about her. Below is the church in Pristina.
She was no joke. My Catholic friends, please forgive my ignorance, but Mother Teresa really was an extraordinary woman. I read that book in record time because I was just fascinated by her life & how she really did give it all up for her calling, which she was so very sure of. & the thing is, her path wasn’t always sure along the way — there were times were she felt like she didn’t hear from God for years. I can’t even imagine doing all she did without hearing from God. But her conviction was immense & so she continued on the path she was certain of.
For those of you are as ignorant as I, Mother Teresa was born in Skopje — the city we were visiting — & grew up a very bright & promising student. She was always kind of outstanding in her talents & faith. Some might call her spending the vast majority of her life in the poor section on Calcutta a waste, but I call it compelled obedience to a God who knows so much more than we can ever reason.
Above is a picture of her & her sister — she’s on the left. God began calling her when she was 12 & at 18 she left her home permanently to join some Irish nuns who would be heading to India, the place she knew she needed to be. She did all kinds of things including train to be a nurse (can’t believe I didn’t know that — so awesome!) & she worked hard from early on. Her conviction wasn’t just to be with the Indian people, but to work with the poorest of poor…to live among them. She wanted to be one of them — to understand them & love them exactly where they were.
This year I’ve missed some things that have made my heart sad. My mom’s first surprise party & her 60th birthday celebration down the shore with the whole family. Birthdays of my nieces & nephews. Successes of my friends. The birth of my cousin’s baby. My buddy having surgery & waiting to hear if she had cancer. My friend’s kiddos learning to walk & my best friend’s daughter starting to talk. So many little things but ones that matter when they add up. It’s made me pretty sad at times, & this is only for one year. I’ve given up not even a full single year of my life & it can bum me out if I think too much about what I’ve missed.
Now — I have no regrets — I know this is exactly where I’m supposed to be & I am sure I’m doing what God has called me to do. But this is just 11 months & I was 30 years old when I left. Mother Teresa gave her whole life at 18 because she was that sure of what she had to do. & she didn’t poop out, either! She continued til she died there in Calcutta, the home of her heart.
I was overwhelmed standing in her memorial house, reading journal enteries & facts of her life. She was the real deal. There are things I have great conviction about, but nothing I’ve ever given my life to utterly & completely.
Mother Teresa had a different calling on her life, but she did make me step back & look at my convictions. Made me examine my endurance & perseverance when opposition arises & stays in my way. I don’t know what to do with this immensely sobering feeling, but I do know that I want to live with that kind of conviction. I don’t want anything to keep me from God’s call for my life. I might not be 100% sure what all that entails yet, but my restful weekend turned into a weekend of knowing better who I want to be. I love to goof off & I don’t think that will ever change, but I also want to live from a place of great conviction where I actually follow through on my beliefs.
Mother Teresa’s love was genuine — she served the poor, sick, & dying of Calcutta even when it was to her detriment. She had almost nothing of her own, but she gave it all for love. Not her own love, but the love of Jesus Christ that compelled her. & I have that same love, too — the steadfast, never ending love of Jesus Christ, & I want to give it to everyone who will hear me.
So…great weekend away just being away, but also gaining the renewal of strength & purpose. I’m here to love Jesus & to give others His love. & however that looks, I know it’s everything. So thanks, Mother Teresa — you remain an overwhelming example of love, dedication, & faith, & I am a fan looking to Jesus for help to do the same.
