The image of a filthy rag keeps coming to mind. A shabby rag that's wrung out… squeezed dry by so many different hands. A rag that's in desperate need of soaking.
That's the most accurate picture of how I've physically felt this past week. Wrung out. Dried up. In desperate need.
I knew when I came on this trip, I came to be poured out. I came to serve people. I came to give love to those who need it most. Yet in order to pour out, you must first soak. You must soak in the presence of God.
Even though I know this, month after month, God keeps re-reminding me of this Truth. This month, His gentle reminder has come through the book of Acts, which perfectly illustrates a community of believers "soaking" before "pouring out". During the "most powerful prayer meeting in history", 120 people gathered together to pray and worship for 10 days straight. They didn't do this just because they felt like it. They did it because Jesus Himself told His followers to:
"On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about." (Acts 1:4)
Jesus also commanded His followers to go out and "make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you" (Matthew 28:19-20). But He made it clear that before going out into the world, they needed to wait for the Holy Spirit to fall upon them (Acts 1:4). He commanded them to soak before pouring out. So, they worshipped and prayed – in one accord – for 10 days straight, waiting for the Holy Spirit – the gift from the Father – to come. And He did.
"Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them." (Acts 2:2-4)
The power to be effective for God's kingdom comes ONLY through the enabling of the Holy Spirit. But waiting for the Spirit – taking time to soak and get filled up by Him – is much easier said than done.
In our culture, we have a doer mentality. Do, do, do and do some more… because doing makes us feel good. It makes us feel like we're "effective". Yet, what I have learned (and am continually re-learning) is that the doer mentality is one that opposes the Holy Spirit. Each month God shows me this out here on the field. Yet, even when I stand firm in knowing that I need my Jesus time before doing… that I need to soak and get filled up, the doer mentality is all around me, and that makes it harder to walk by the Spirit.
People believe that we should come home from the race on empty. But I disagree.
I believe that kind of thinking is based on worldly principles rather than the Word of God. Isaiah 58:10 asks us to pour ourselves out "in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed." But pouring out and finishing strong are distinct from emptying out. "Empty" is antithetical to Jesus' commands. Sacrifice, yes. Take up your cross daily, yes. But go, go, go until you have nothing left, no. It's true that in our weakness He is strong, but that verse is not meant to encourage us to run ourselves ragged. "Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." (Hebrews 12:1). The race… is lifelong, and the only way we can run it with perseverence is by being filled up by the Spirit.
Even though in a few weeks I will finish the (world) race – an 11 month long mission trip, for me personally, month 12 (and many months thereafter) is in America, serving my friends and family – those who are in desperate need of God's love.
So often God's way is contradictory to the world's. The world, especially American culture, is all about doing. God is more about being. Being like Jesus. Following His teaching. And by that, instead of coming home empty, I want to return to the US completely filled up and able to lavish the people there with love. I want to return on fire, witnessing about the amazing things my God has done since the last time I saw them. I want to be so full of life, that His light shines through me, revealing His glory.
I want to come home so full of the Spirit that God uses me as a vessel to give LIFE to those I love most.
The River From the Temple
"The man brought me back to the entrance to the temple, and I saw water coming out from under the threshold of the temple toward the east (for the temple faced east). The water was coming down from under the south side of the temple, south of the altar. He then brought me out through the north gate and led me around the outside to the outer gate facing east, and the water was trickling from the south side.As the man went eastward with a measuring line in his hand, he measured off a thousand cubits and then led me through water that was ankle-deep. He measured off another thousand cubits and led me through water that was knee-deep. He measured off another thousand and led me through water that was up to the waist. He measured off another thousand, but now it was a river that I could not cross, because the water had risen and was deep enough to swim in—a river that no one could cross. He asked me, “Son of man, do you see this?”
Then he led me back to the bank of the river. When I arrived there, I saw a great number of trees on each side of the river. He said to me, “This water flows toward the eastern region and goes down into the Arabah, where it enters the Dead Sea. When it empties into the sea, the salty water there becomes fresh. Swarms of living creatures will live wherever the river flows. There will be large numbers of fish, because this water flows there and makes the salt water fresh; so where the river flows everything will live. Fishermen will stand along the shore; from En Gedi to En Eglaim there will be places for spreading nets. The fish will be of many kinds —like the fish of the Mediterranean Sea. But the swamps and marshes will not become fresh; they will be left for salt. Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear fruit, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing. ” (Ezekial 47:1-12)
God didn't make me to be a dirty, wrung out rag. He made me to be a Holy temple – with His Spirit flowing through me – so that I may pour out His love on and nourish those in need. "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?" (1 Corinthians 6:19).
My friends, we were made for life! Sweet, beautiful, supernatural life. And where the Spirit flows, there is LIFE!
Cheers to finishing the World Race – strong and full!!!
Papa, thank you so much for your gift of the Holy Spirit. Thank you for your gift of life. Thank you for inviting us into your presence. I pray that I – that we – may always stand firm in taking the time to soak and rest in your presence, even when the world is pressuring us to "do". I pray that I remain a temple – a place of rest and peace – with your precious river and life flowing through me so that I may pour out your Love on the people I encounter.
Love,
AJ
