My Greatest Love Affair – Part 4 (FINAL)

In my secret loathing of the word — because it strongly opposed my bad-girl identity — I purposely kept it absent from my vernacular. No matter how hard I ever tried, I could never seem to be the “good” Christian girl who sat quietly reading her Bible…
 
But – amazingly – just after my return from a mission trip to Nairobi, Kenya last year, I began studying the Bible with a group of friends. It was – and still is – one of the greatest marvels of my life. Me, the unholy girl, not only reading – but actually studying – the Holy Bible. Nearly 20 years of loathing it… and then suddenly there I was.. diving right into it.
 
Then again… that Jesus character – He has a way with changing hearts… a supernatural, extraordinary way of awakening the soul… of breathing life into a place where spiritual death and darkness have taken residence. And it’s a difficult, yet breathtaking transformation. A revolution that ignites passion. The (only) kind of conversion that can inspire the world's greatest love affair – like the one that's been unfolding throughout this story.
 
By then – fall 2010 – a year had passed since I had returned to my faith – a year since Jesus first captured my heart. And over that year, I had developed a yen for something more – a yearning to enter into a place of deeper intimacy with Him. After two international trips (honeymoons), I grew extremely passionate about short-term missions, and I became enamored with my Lover — my heart fluttering for the man who gave it all for me. And so I longed to give more of myself to Him.
 
Around that same time, I had begun receiving notification months in advance of when I’d actually be hired for my contractor gig. No longer did I have to wait until the month before a gig to know if I would be hired or not. But even in that, God kept me living by faith… as I was promised work for November and December 2010 but then told I might not work again until April 2011. Once again… I questioned whether I should just go back to a traditional full-time position. And yet… once again God urged me to just trust Him and to stick with the contracting gig. Sure… I could’ve asked the people who hired me to “guarantee” me more work, but my Spirit sensed that silence (and resting in faith) was the appropriate response. 
 
I couldn’t really see what God was doing in my life at the time… and though I trusted Him, I began to struggle through a period of loneliness and discontent. The bold, risky nature inside me had been stirred – a result of the two mission trips I had been on. They left me longing to break out of my comfort zone. But the more I realized that I was in a minority position in my fervor for pursuing Jesus, the more frustrated I became. And I struggled all the way through the end of 2010. 
 
But God used that fire and frustration to direct me to teaching a class on Living by Faith at my church. When I initially proposed the idea of the class, I was warned that it was likely that few people would attend, yet something in my Spirit zealously affirmed, “This is what you’ve been called to do – just go with it!” And so I told them that even if only 1 person attends the class it would be worth it… but that I’d be praying for 30 people to show up. The class began in January 2011, and to my delight, 27 people attended the first night. Surely, God was at work… and it was through that experience that I first realized that I have a great passion for teaching and encouraging other Christians. A passion for stirring up courage in them. Though the thought of me being a spiritual leader was as foreign to me as the concept of holiness, He showed me that even in my imperfection, He could use me to influence others.
 
The class ended in February and by the time March rolled around, I had already heard about the World Race 3 different times. Though I thought it sounded like an amazing opportunity…. I chalked it up as being a mere pipe dream. Every time it came up, I thought, “There’s just no way I can afford to take off for a year. I can’t give up the best job I’ve ever had, lose an entire year’s salary – and somehow still pay my bills. And on top of my bills, how could I ever raise the money to even go on the trip? There’s just no way the World Race is a possibility for me!”
 
But one day in late March as I was Googling something completely unrelated, the first link that popped up was for – the World Race. Feeling a nudge in my Spirit – “Just take a peak at the cost…” – I clicked on the link. As I glanced at the cost – $14,800 – it didn’t seem so intimidating, not as impossible as I had once thought. And then I felt another nudge on my heart… “Work up a budget”. And miraculously… though back in fall 2010 I had only been promised work for the month of April in 2011, by God’s grace, I had been hired to work every single month prior to April… and had just been notified that I’d also be hired for May, June and August 2011 as well. Amazingly… in my complete silence and trust in God, I ended up having plenty of work. In fact, the money I made working my contractor gig is enough for me to pay all my bills while being away for 11 months… a phenomenon that could only be spun by the hands of an amazing, faithful God – my Papa.
 
Once I realized that the World Race could actually be a real possibility for me, I contacted some World Racers. I did some research. I prayed about it. I played devil’s advocate to ensure that it wasn’t just a selfish petition for travelling the world for a year. And in the end… after a lot of thought and prayer and one interview, I accepted a spot on the September 2011 World Race Route. During training camp this past July, to my great surprise, I was asked to serve in the role of Team Leader for the World Race – a role that will certainly take me out of my comfort zone. 

In hindsight… Papa's done some incredible, miraculous things in my life and in my soul over the last 2 years. Though He began by first tearing my heart to pieces, I now see clearly how He carefully crafted each and every step, romancing me into the very place I'm at right now. As of today, my friends and I are only 2 weeks away from finishing the entire Bible, and over the past year, His Word has become like little love notes written on my heart. And as I sit here typing away in my bedroom in Bucharest, Romania… a few weeks into my World Race journey… I'm completely smitten… with Jesus. And this love affair just grows deeper and deeper with each passing day — as He seduces me into becoming a woman of purity. He’s brought me out of my world to show me His… to woo me and transform me into holiness, and for the first time in my life… I'm ready to emnbrace that. I'm ready to become the woman He created me to be.