Lately it’s been making a daily appearance in our team’s tête-à-tête. But how could it not?
A group of six, single, 20-30-some year old women living together 24/7 who never chatter about it? Forget anomaly — that's just absurd.
But when it came out of the mouth of a 13-year-old girl yesterday, I'll admit, I was a bit taken aback. Seriously, what does a 13 year old know about marriage?
It was an extraordinary encounter… as we walked side by side and this young girl turns to me and casually says, "You need to pray for your husband. God will give you one when you get back to the United States."
Um… okay, thanks, kid! There's no store for those, ya know. Can’t just punch in the stats of my ideal mate and order him from the Internet. I’ve tried that one before, and eharmony just didn’t cut it.
But as strange as the idea seemed in that moment… she wasn’t the first one to tell me this.
Before the Race, during training camp last July, God promised me that my husband would come soon after the Race – that He’s working on something right now. The message didn’t come in the form of an audible statement (which, to be honest, would probably freak me out a bit) but rather as a gentle, still promise on my heart. A promise for a husband. A promise already in the process of being fulfilled. Yet I have no idea what that really means or who that promise is… nor am I supposed to know right now.
But to assume that just because I've taken an oath to remain completely single this year that the subject doesn't cross my mind at least once a week… is just silly. I'm a woman. A 34-year-old woman at that. And if I may confess… I think about it almost every day (Deep down I blame estrogen and Disney for this ;).
But given that I'm currently minus a love interest (aside from Jesus) – at this moment in my life, the thought is often ephemeral. I mean, how much time can you really invest in thinking about marriage when you have no possible suitors and you live halfway around the world from everyone you know?!
And as exciting as the idea of meeting my partner in crime is… I’ve still given this year over to God – to have and to hold for richer or poorer till I finish the Race – July 28, 2012. After that, I'm fair game. Yet… out of all my years of dating – which have been many – and all my experiences in relationships – which have been good, bad and ugly, God has brought me to this revelation: unless we – a prospective suitor and myself – are better together for the kingdom of God than we are as individuals… it's a no go. And that’s a standard I think we should all take very seriously — because the stakes are just too high to consider marriage nonchalantly. My walk and relationship with Christ are too precious to risk sacrificing by fusing my life with someone who God never intended me to be with. And in my heart, I deeply believe that there is only one man who God has ‘set apart’ for me. A man who can encourage, comfort, challenge, teach and call me out and up as the woman God created me to be – a man who will help put into motion the things God has already ordained for my life.
Marriage is a gift – an amazing gift that imparts some wonderful benefits (wink, wink). Marriage is a privilege and an honor especially in the life of a Jesus follower – whose purpose is to radiate the glory of God. And what better way to glorify Him than by mirroring His love and character through holy matrimony – a relationship specifically designed to reflect the beautiful, intimate nature of the love between man and Creator. What better way to be sanctified than through the sacrifice of your own interests and desires for the sake of your spouse and children – a sacrifice offered up out of pure, holy love. The kind of love that Papa imparts to couples who fervently seek His will in their lives.
None of my previous relationships could have mirrored God's divine love… because none of those men ever challenged or encouraged me to look, love and act more like Jesus. Neither was I then in a position to be able to do the same for them. So, I wait… patiently (well, as patiently as I can) and expectantly, believing that He will fulfill His promises in His good timing. (“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her.” Luke 1:45) And from this day on… I pray, looking forward to the day when I can gaze into my husband’s eyes, knowing that he is THE one man who I am better together with (for His kingdom)… than apart. Knowing that only he could fill that special, wonderful, purposeful role.
Papa, thank you so much for your amazing promises. Promises that will be fulfilled in your proper timing. Only you know the man who is right for me – the man who I can be better together with for your kingdom than I can be on my own. A man who you have specifically set apart as a gift to me. During this time of waiting patiently to meet each other, please guard our hearts. Watch over him and challenge him in ways that will prepare his heart and mind for our future life and ministry together. Purify him through your fire. Build him up to be the pure, holy man you’ve created him to be. Protect his heart from being distracted by other women as you protect my heart from being distracted by other men. Use this time on the race to prepare me to be a Christ-centered wife and mother – to become a woman who loves ridiculously well. And in your proper time, make your plans for our relationship known to each of us through dreams. I ask these things in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.
NOTE: The standard of “better together” comes from my best friend’s parents – the Spenglers. Thank you so much for showing me what it looks like to be better together for the sake of His kingdom.
