Often I struggle with deciding what’s appropriate to share, and I find myself asking, “What would a real writer divulge? How much candor is affordable? And is there a proper balance between propriety and honesty?”
And though I remain without “textbook” answers to these questions… just as a friend prayed over me six months ago (to blog for the sake of submission rather than praise), today I choose to write out of simple obedience. Not to change the world with witty titles or unique, gilded expressions, but purely because I made a promise to share this experience with all of you through blogging. And if I may be quite honest, lately I feel I’ve been failing you in doing so. And for that, I sincerely apologize. But I believe the reason God’s enabled me to remember that specific part of my friend’s prayer is because He needed to use the last 6 months to prepare my heart to receive the great revelation that is now changing my life – even as I type this. Because only now can I fully understand why the Spirit led my friend to pray that I would write out of obedience.
I want you to know that many times I’ve tried to write a post only to find myself staring at an undeveloped concept or a wordy discourse lacking purpose. But what God has shown me through all this is that the real root of the issue is: other people’s opinions – and my dependence upon them. Caring too much about what others think of me. Desiring the approval of people instead of resting securely in the affection Papa (God) fervently and consistently lavishes upon me.
The bottom line is this: my fear of what you might think about me has kept me from obeying God. It’s kept me from writing, simply because I’ve been afraid to disappoint you or in being honest and raw that I might paint a bad portrait of myself. And well, that’s just pathetic (yes, I am calling myself out as pathetic.)
But here’s what Papa’s revealed to me over the last week: Other people’s opinions – if we permit them – only become the handcuffs by which the Enemy uses to constrain us to idleness. True freedom comes when you do not allow people’s opinions – good or bad – to be your impetus for action, your measure for worth or your basis for identity. Acclaim pushes pride and disapproval persuades insecurity. And neither oblige you toward the call or love of God.
At the end of the day, not even my own opinion matters. What matters is love and obedience. Am I secure enough in His love to walk in obedience to His call for my life – no matter the cost?
I’m not here for a pat on the back or to win over the romantic affections of a potential mate or even to make my mother proud (though I love her dearly). I’m here for my Heavenly Father. My Creator. My Abba.
So… today I write for Him alone – out of sheer obedience and love for Him. Not because His love requires action or because I strive to win His approval (approval which I already have). But rather because His extraordinary, intimate, limitless zeal – for me – arouses and deserves obedience. Need there be any other motivator?
If so then I reject the miraculous freedom Jesus painfully died to personally grant me (and if you don’t consider it miraculous then I suggest you read the Gospels or perhaps try being nailed to a cross, dying and raising 3 days later. Your pick but my personal favor goes to the former ;).
So today… I freely write… simply because my Papa’s called me to. Simply because His radiant love – above all else – is enough to compel me to answer that call – sometimes eagerly, often stubbornly but today sincerely — “Yes, Papa, I will obey you!”
When He calls, how will you answer?
P.S. It’s taken me weeks of praying over this – my inability to write – for God to grant me these personal revelations. But once He opened my eyes to the real issue and gave me the grace and courage to confront it, the words began to flow freely. Incidentally, I’ve been asking God to challenge me in my writing and in my photography. Now I see His real challenge is to do both out of obedience for the pure sake of glorifying Him – not myself. I pray that He will use this post to speak to you in a way that encourages you to walk in obedience. In a way that inspires you to follow His call for you – even if it’s just the call of this very day – no matter what others may think of you. No matter the cost.
