For nearly two years, my stigma-stained heart bled the callous words spoken into it by a man I once dated. The suggestion that as a woman who was once someone’s Mrs., no (decent, Christian) man would ever desire to marry me — a hand-me-down bride.
But had I been reading the Bible 8 years ago when the divorce happened, the years following would’ve been quite different. I would’ve never been a slave to the lies that ensued from a broken marriage. And those harsh words spoken two years ago by an ex-beau would’ve aroused laughter instead of tears and brokenness.
Yet, Papa, in all His goodness found a way to set me free — by giving me a desire to seek Truth. He set me free from the lies that were spoken into me. Free from the shame of my past. Free from the false perceptions and declarations that pour from the lips of other people.
And it was only a few months ago when I first enjoyed the luscious taste of liberation – as I read for the first time – these sweet words (as if He had written them just for me):
“But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.” 1 Corinthians 7:15
Immediately the chains came unbound as my heart danced with joy and tears rolled down my cheeks. I was delighfully overwhelmed with a feeling of redemption. If I’m being honest, one of the greatest desires of my heart is to get married… again (this time, to the right man). And so His words became one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received. Truly, there’s no way for me to properly convey just how good this revelation was for my soul… and I can only pray that you’ll come to know this kind of freedom and joy through your own love encounters with Him.
But… who of us hasn’t given their heart away to someone or something else before giving it to Jesus? Who… before ever accepting Jesus’ love proposal hasn’t first been ensnared by cheap imitations? We’ve all had our private, dirty affairs with – pride, greed, materialism or lust. We’ve all spent time tangled up in the beds of other paramours (for many of us, figuratively and literally). And in that sense, we’ve all reduced ourselves to hand-me-down brides.
Yet, by that, we all stand to be delightfully overwhelmed by redemption. Like the compassionate lover that He is, He lavishes His grace upon us. No matter how many times we cheat on Him with other lovers. No matter how poorly we love Him… He forgives. He adores. He romances and captivates, clothing us each in white, spotless garments of perfection.
And over the last year, as I’ve spent time with Him in His word (the Bible), I’ve grown in assurance of His great love for me, now knowing that when He looks into my eyes, He sees His beautiful, imacculate bride. Knowing that I am the love of His life, and He is mine! His affections are so “wide and long and high and deep” (Ephesians 3:18). Even though we don’t deserve it… He embraces us with mercy. He frees us with sweet, sweet Truth. He knows how messed up we are.. and still, He chooses to see us through the spectrum of grace, offering up to us the marriage proposal of a lifetime (and thereafter ;).
And because Jesus sees me as His perfect bride, I know when He introduces me to the man I’m going to spend my life with that he will be a man of love and grace – because he will be a pursuer of Jesus. And that’s just what us Jesus people are called to do: to walk boldly in His love and grace, lavishing it upon others as He lavishes it upon us. Because to love Jesus is to love people, and because I live in His grace and goodness, I love by His grace and goodness.
And sure there are moments when my mind sharply sways to judgment or anger, but the gentle nudge of the Spirit coaxes me back to grace. He grants me His perspective, His lens – to help me see people the way that He does – as men, women and children deserving of adoration – each and every one of them – His precious brides.
It’s when instead of stigmas we allow Jesus to stain our hearts with the nectar of His sweet affections, resting in the full knowledge that we are loved unconditionally by Him that we then are better able to do this grace thing.
And just how different our world might be if we each walked fiercly in love and grace… Perhaps each country would be “a better country – a heavenly one” (Hebrews 11:15). Perhaps…
Grace be with you… precious, immaculate brides.
**This week I had a chance – with my team – to visit a gypsy village in Bucharest, Romania. Sadly, gypsies are outcasts here… people refuse to acknowledge them. But when I looked into their soulful, gorgeous eyes, I saw life and light. When I looked upon them — with the eyes of Papa, through the lens of grace and love — I saw the face of Jesus.**
