As a kid, I had a peculiar habit. Perhaps my fondest childhood quirk.
Every time I ate M&Ms, I’d save all the greens ones for last, eating them all at once… and pretending that they gave me special powers. I had… ahem, have… a delicious, rich imagination.
Obviously, that was just pretend… but over the last few years, I've found something even better than green M&Ms. Something that truly enables me to be incredibly resilient. Something that helps me to persevere – and thrive – in the face of challenge. Something that’s a bit supernatural, if you know what I mean.
Now, truth be told, I'm specially trained so that I can train others how to build the competencies that enable resilience (a.k.a. mental toughness). That is my professional background. And this year – out on the field – has provided ample, rich opportunities for testing this training. In fact, now is a prime opportunity.
Right now, my body is vacillating between fever and chills. My nose is spontaneously leaking on my t-shirt. My eyes are watering. I have indigestion, and I can't eat without getting sick. My body aches. My tummy aches. My head aches. But worst of all, after being in bed for the last 3 days, I feel a growing sense of frustration and impatience beginning to fester within me. I just want to feel better. I just want to get out of this room!
Let's face it… it's month 10. I'm exhausted on top of being sick. In fact, ever since I was raised back up to the position of team leader, I've been battling different physical ailments. And after nearly 2 months of illness, I'm over it! I’m over it, and I’m ready for the conveniences of America. And sadly, there have been moments over the last few days when I’ve wanted my mom to be out here to take care of me. Moments when I felt so physically awful, I've curled up on my bed and cried.
But thinking this way isn’t helping me right now. It’s not making me feel any better. It’s not changing my physiological symptoms. And after hours of trying one thing after another (i.e. my own private dance party to pop music, playing the guitar, watching a movie, praying) to self-sooth the aches and pains… this one simple Truth popped into mind – a truth that’s come up repeatedly over this last year:
"We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5.
When physiologically I feel worn down, it's easy for my mind to start going to places that aren't helpful. It's easy for me to take my gaze off of Jesus (Hebrews 12:2). It's easy for me to think about throwing in the towel. To just say to hell with it all. In my profession, we call this counterproductive thinking, and the answer to counterproductive thinking is to challenge those thoughts. Some might say that we teach people how to be mental ninjas, which I happen to like. However… the best way to destroy a counterproductive thought is with evidence… or rather, truth. And the Word of God is the STRONGEST TRUTH I know.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." 1 Corinthians 4:16Even in sickness, I will not lose heart… because even though my body feels awful… even though my flesh longs for home in this moment… my mind – in this same moment – is being renewed by the Word of God. Strengthened. Renovated. Encouraged to boldness and greater faith so that I can see Truth more clearly. So that I can stand firm in Truth even as my legs are trying to give out on me.
“For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12
“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.” 2 Corinthians 4:8-12
"Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." Ephesians 6:11, 14-17
I’m writing this to you – right in the heart of my experience with it – as a testimony to the fact that — by His Truth – it’s possible to thrive in the face of extreme challenge.
And now (by His strength… by His grace) I'm gonna go buy some M&Ms… and then go with a friend on a 1am prayer walk around the streets of Saigon.
Why?
Because… with the Word of God – my sword – in hand… I'm a Christian bada$$. And that's how we roll. 😉
