Beautiful Chaos: Photo Journal

In less than 12 hours, I'll be on a plane heading for Malaysia. 

I've got to be honest… there's a piece of me that's ready to leave Saigon. Yet there's a piece of me that's already missing it.

This past month in Vietnam has been one of the hardest months for me personally. I believe most of it is spiritual, but there are things about the environment that are… frustrating… and nerve-wracking… and so close to American culture but yet not – which is probably the most trying piece of all. We're so close to home… yet we're not. It's chaotic here. Communication is difficult. Sometimes impossible. There are people everywhere. The traffic is crazy. You can't walk 5 feet without someone trying to sell you something. It's simply overstimulating. 

And there have been moments when I've felt pushed to my edge, about ready to lose it. But the crazy part is that that's not at all like me. I don't get stressed easily. I don't get shaken by circumstances. God has done an awesome job in grounding me in His word and in faith. Yet… to be frank, my mental, physical, spiritual and emotional limits have truly been tested this month – beyond what they ever have been before. 

But after struggling with all the madness here over the last few weeks, God has given me the eyes to see and appreciate Saigon the way that He does. He's given me a true love for her. 

When I look back on this month, a month from now… a year from now… 2 decades from now, I won't remember the stress of the moments that challenged me. No, I will carry those stretch moments in a posture that's newly defined by more patience and more grace and a greater capacity to love – a posture different from the one I first stepped into Vietnam with. But when I think about Saigon, when I think back on my time here… I will remember these images. I will remember the vibrant energy of Saigon. I will remember the tender and fun moments I've shared with the people here. I will remember the culture. I will remember these precious faces.