My stomach is in knots. I feel sick. My chest feels heavy. My heart is in my throat and words can’t describe what I saw or experienced today. I feel like my heart was ripped out and torn to pieces. I’m crying inside but I smile at the children as I hand them candy. Today we did house visits at a refugee camp in the Bequaa Valley. Words will not do these people or their situation justice. But I’d like to share a little more about what my experience was like while being there.
There are about 30 tents. It’s raining. It’s cold. I’m wearing jeans, sneakers, a sweater, and a rain jacket. Children run around barefoot, most without sweaters. The tents are small spaces made up basically of 2×4’s some with sheathing others just wrapped in Tyvek.
I wonder “What does God’s love look like for this person?”
When thinking about what God’s love looks like for me in a lot of ways I equate it with financial provision and blessings. By that standard, I cannot begin to wrap my mind around how the people here are experiencing His love for them? I question what I have to offer them. No story from my life could ever possibly compare to anything they’ve experienced.
I think to myself, “What am I even doing here?”
In my head, I know that the good news for them is the same as it is for us: that if they confess Jesus they will have forgiveness of their sins and get to experience eternal life in Heaven. I know that the good news for them is that although they may be overlooked now, in His kingdom they will be known, and seen, and loved by Him forever.
Still I feel inadequate…”How can I share this good news with them?”
I got to sit with Syrian refugees and tell them the story of the woman at the well and about how Jesus is the living water. We got to talk about the prodigal son and about John 3:16 and the beauty in that. At one point, there were about 25 of us in a small tent and I was reminded of Jesus in scripture. Of how when Jesus told stories there were so many people attracted by his parables and teachings that they would barely fit wherever He was. We experienced a similar thing today as we started sharing with just a few people at first and before we knew it the tent was full of people, intrigued and amazed at hearing about Jesus for the first time. It was beautiful. God is good.
It blows my mind that these people who seem to have nothing, give you everything. While visiting them we were not only served coffee but tea, multiple times. This may not seem like much but sugar, coffee, and tea are a rare commodity and yet they gave it freely to us, strangers, now new friends.
While we were there we were also able to provide toys for the kids and food bags for families. Despite providing for actual needs, I think the most important thing we were able to give was PRESENCE. When I think about God and his love for us I think about how He loved us so much that he SENT his only son, Jesus, to be with us. We can donate money and things all day, and it is very much needed, but I believe there is an even greater value in offering your presence. There is no way that if you saw and experienced what I did today you would ever be the same. These people are not only refugees . They are humans. They are mothers, daughters, uncles, brothers. They are children of God. A beautiful creation. And even now amidst the tension I feel, I have to believe that Jesus is still good. That there is no darkness where He can’t shine brighter.
Maybe God’s love for them today is that we were able to visit them. That we sat with them for hours and just listened. That we took the time to care to know them, their story. Maybe God’s love for them is expressed in the stories of Jesus we got to share with them for the first time. In the hope of a savior who sees and loves them regardless of what their situation looks like on Earth. The hope that exists in the afterlife.
So what am I doing here? I’m praying for the Lord to have mercy on them, to reveal himself, to forgive me (us) of our ignorance and our hatred towards those we don’t know or understand. I pray for revelation, healing, restoration, and peace for the people in these camps. I pray for boldness and clarity in sharing His Gospel.
Song of the day: “Nothing I Hold on to” by Will Reagan and United Pursuit. I pray that as we give it all to God, we trust that He will make something beautiful out of us.
Join me on the journey:
1. Please Pray — As we get ready to leave Lebanon and head to Jordan Friday evening! We will be doing a squad wide debrief in Amman for 5 days, so please be in prayer over that as we have a lot of changes coming up.
2. Financially Partner — I know it’s crazy but I believe the Lord provides in BIG ways, so my team and I are praying and believing that the Lord can and will provide for me to be fully funded before we leave Lebanon! I am only $3,929 away to be FULLY FUNDED. Would you help be a part of this crazy cool Christmas miracle and consider making a tax deductible donation to help me continue on this journey to sharing Christ?
3. Subscribe & Share — Get my blog updates sent to your inbox! Would you share my blog with friends and family that might be interested in following and supporting me on this journey.
I thank God for you and all the awesome ways you continue to love and surprise me throughout this journey. I couldn’t do it without all of your love and support. Please, please, please let me know how I can be praying for you! Love you my friends <3
