1. A better understanding of what’s next. God has given me many passions but now I need to figure out what my focus will be. What will be my “thing”? I can’t do everything so I have to pick something and then pour my life into it because if I become involved in too much then I will be spreading myself thin and doing many things okay, rather than doing a few things really well. I know that I really, really want to become a nurse and work my way up to become a Nurse Practitioner/Midwife. But I also know that the Lord has called me into missions. I could absolutely combine the two but I hope this experience will help me understand what that looks like.
2. A more accurate understanding of what the “Church” should look like. I have a hard time believing that what we currently call the church is how Christ intended her to be. There is more to the Church than the building, and the Sunday morning program. She is a body of believers and I long to see a church that is as close, as faithful, as mobile and as vibrant as the one we see in Acts. We tend to have a very ethnocentric view of the church as she is in North America as well, and we think and act as if we are the majority church…when really we are the minority. We may sit in cushioned chairs or wooden pews but many others sit in grassy fields, mud-floor huts, basement apartments or old one-room school houses. We may sing English hymns, or rock out to a full contemporary worship band, but many others dance to the beat of African drums or sing in unfamiliar tongues. We often have a hard time saying the name of Jesus to a co-worker so we settle for the safer, generic term of “god”; while many others fight for their right to pray, carry a Bible and proudly call themselves a Follower of Jesus. I have a sneaky suspicion that persecution is not merely being called a loser at school because we go to church, because all around the world people are dying to say the name of Jesus.
3. A deeper connection with the Spirit. If you’re familiar with Francis Chan than you are also familiar with the title of his latest (I believe) book—the Forgotten God. I admit that I am guilty of seeking the love and comfort of the Father and the Salvation and friendship of Jesus, but I think that I do not call upon the power and wisdom of the Holy Spirit. I feel as if sometimes I clearly am a product of a faithless nation when it comes to healings, and miracles and worship that will move and shake you in a way like never before. Again, this is connected with my longing to go back to our roots as the early church—there is power offered by the Spirit that I am not yet bold enough to tap into. I long to see and connect with the Spirit of God in ways like never before; to be bent over and brought to my face in awe and adoration. To be so moved and filled with prophecies and words of life and truth.
4. To see more of why God allowed me to go through my Depression. These past two years have been immensely difficult and I am not sure that God made the terrible stuff happen but He did choose to allow them to happen and I know it was not in vain. He always has a plan to bring good from the bad; to make oceans from the rain. I have seen good coming already from it all but I know there is much more to come. The moment I found out I was accepted on the Race I wondered what I would have to offer. Some Racers are amazing musicians, some are athletes, some are medical professionals and teachers and so on…what do I have to offer? I have a story; a testimony with power. The Lord has delivered me and I must not keep quiet.
5. To love and love deeply. Honestly, I can’t wait to love the world! I know there are faces, with names and heartbeats and voices that I will have the blessed opportunity to love. There is some little boy out there that I will have the chance to make smile; some little girl that I can make giggle with joy; some young woman who has been abused that I can hold hands with and listen to her story; some old man who can learn from and offer food; someone considered untouchable, that I can hug. These are the moments that will be worth it all.
6. Community. We are meant to be with other people and not just any people but brothers and sisters in Christ. It will be so amazing to grow with 4-7 other individuals and see how we come in as strangers and leave as family. Just imagine praying with, crying with, laughing with, rejoicing with, “wrestling” with, serving with, healing with, dancing with and living with other young men and women for 11 months! We are going to have the time of our lives and there will be no one else who will ever understand like my teammates.
7. For God to shatter every misconception I have of who I think He is. I have such a limited understanding of God, and I know that I will NEVER understand Him entirely until I see Him in a whole other light, but I know that there are some ways that I have Him misunderstood and even misrepresented and I want nothing to do with those ways any longer. I want the truth and I want the renewing of my mind. I know this process can be a painful one but if pain is what it takes to see Him right, then pain is what must come.
8. Fun. Adventure. Joy. Plain and simple, I want to have an awesome adventure! Stories that I will tell my children and my children’s children. Oh the fun that awaits us all!
