I love the way Jesus had this obsession with the Truth. It seemed to be His mission–always talking about it; always living it; always praying it. He was constantly getting down to the heart of the matter, the bare bones, the 'at the end of day' and 'when it's all said and done' kind of stuff. The inspiring part of His honesty is that He was never afraid it would be too brutal because truth was all that mattered and it wasn't a suggested or optional courtesy; it was a must. Often His truth was upsetting and more times than not it offended the religious leaders and the well-practicing Jews of the day. Jesus was the kind of guy who would show up on the scene and say the things no one wanted to admit or say out loud…the kind of things we don't want to admit or say out loud. Things like how we honestly feel…
When Jesus prays in the garden before He is arrested He asks His Abba "if You are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but Yours be done." Basically He admits that He would rather not die the brutal death He is about to endure; that His will is not to suffer and die. Can you get any more honest? The redemption of the whole world is hanging on God's plan for Jesus to be crucified and resurrected. The prophets proclaimed the Messiah's coming; Mary accepted the responsibility of carrying the Son of God; Joseph took the role as His earthly Dad; Jesus grew up and began His ministry; the Disciples gave up everything to follow Him…so that He would die and save us all. And Jesus admits that He would rather not.
You know, it's interesting that mold and fungus grow in the dark. Most things need the light to grow but not mold, not disease. They feed off of the damp, darkened places that are hidden, out of reach or out of sight. I believe it's like that with our secrets or our hidden pain or the truth of how we feel but are too afraid to admit. When we hold things inside–things that need to be exposed, confessed, admitted, or purged–we allow them to feed off of the darkness. It is there where they become clouded, distorted and eventually turn into lies whispered our way from the Enemy who is always up to no good. The truth is like light: it chokes out the darkness and exposes what really is.
I have used the example many times of purging. When we are sick, our body's natural reaction is to purge out the sickness so that we can begin to heal. It's messy and embarrassing and uncomfortable but so necessary. And that's what Jesus did. He knew that He had to die but in that moment He had to be honest with the Father as to what He was feeling. He got it out, accepted Abba's will instead of His and then got up to walk toward His destiny.
This weekend I was able to visit some friends and have many conversations about life and learning and love. Most of the weekend it was the light fluffy stuff but then we got to the heart of the matter and we began to purge out what was kept inside for far too long. I had the opportunity with friend after friend to sit and listen as they exposed, confessed, admitted and purged out the truth with tears in their eyes and snot running out their nose; it was beautiful. And after the truth is out and the tears are done, we took a deep breath and allowed life to keep going. Truth doesn't always take the problems away or turn it all around. Sometimes just getting it out allows us to take that deep breath, wipe the tears, sweat and blood from our brow and go peacefully to our cross.
What have you been holding in? Do you struggle with a particular thought or action that pushes you further away from the Father and you have never told anyone because you feel ashamed? Let it out. Do you feel unloved, unaccepted, unworthy, inadequate, lost, hopeless, afraid, confused, doubtful, weak? Let it out. Has someone hurt you and never stopped for a moment to apologize? Have you hurt someone and never said "I'm sorry"? Let it out. Are you angry with God? Does the Bible make you uncomfortable? Do you wonder if you even have a relationship with Him at all? Let it out.
Grab a close friend. Pick up your journal. Fall at the Father's feet and purge.
****Check out this poem I wrote about truth-telling a couple years back on my poetry blog: Painful Honesty
