Looking back, the path that led me to apply for the World Race is quite funny, but going through it felt awful. (Isn't that the way these things usually go anyway?) I had been living in Halifax, NS for the past year which started off as me doing an internship with Deep Water Church (www.deepwaterchurch.com) for six months. I was working part time at a clothing store as well. Everything was perfect. I loved the way my life was going–I was a part of a growing, relevant, passionate church; I was surrounded by amazing brothers and sisters in Christ; I had a part time job that I really enjoyed and got along really well with my coworkers; I lived in like the best city ever; and I was the healthiest emotionally, mentally and physically I have ever been.
Then after I finished my internship I started to feel a sense of restlessness in my soul. I didn't feel right about my work anymore and I felt like perhaps I should look for something else, but I was determined to stay in the city. I had everything I ever wanted there and I was comfortable and safe. You have to understand, normally I was not the one to seek out the comfortable road; I always chose the road less travelled. But after coming out of a season of depression, you tend to want to cling to what is safe and what you know. God had used the "safe" to comfort me and help me get back up, but what was meant for only a season I had wanted to hold on to forever. It's like I had to learn how to live in the real world again (the real world that God had designed for me). But it took some time to realize that Halifax was not going to be my home.
Just as I finished up my internship I ended up finding an amazing job opening as a Nanny in Halifax. I met with the family went over everything and just had to wait for my references to go through. The pay and hours were exactly what I was looking for that would enable me to stay in the city and get a nice apartment. At the last minute I got a call from my friend and her husband who were expecting another baby (they already had a 10 month old) and needed someone to come help them out. This would mean giving up this great job I was just offered and everything else in my life for two months, with no garuntee that I would find a job back in the city when I finished. Of course the Lord laid it on my heart to go and while everyone thought I was crazy I went. When I came back I had a shift here and there at the clothing store but no where near enough to sustain me and with the restlessness growing stronger. So I took a leap of faith and gave my 2 weeks notice. I applied for every job I could think of in the city. The two weeks went by and still nothing.
I spent all of April, May and June going out of my mond hunting for a job. I even applied to get into a Midwifery program (something I really want to do some day), took a 30 hr train to Ontario for an interview at the school and didn't get in. Everything kept falling through. I went on job interview after job interview and still nothing. Finally I began to think perhaps God wanted me to open the door further to extend beyond Halifax, so I gave Him Nova Scotia. And then I gave Him Atlantic Canada, and then I gave Him Canada and the US. And knowing in the back of my mind and in the bottom of my heart that He wanted me to fling the door wide open to extend to the whole world…but I wasn't ready just yet.
So one night I prayed: "Lord I want to stay here and love this city for You. I want to see a passion for Your Name build up in this city. But… if You want me to leave I will and I will love the people where ever You send me just as much."
The next morning I found an Ad on Kijiji, a Christian family was looking for a private teacher and caregiver for their two boys and 4 other neighborhood children in Sydney, NS. I would have to move but remembering my prayer, I applied. In a matter of days everything started to fall in place with this family, they even drove 5.5 hours to meet with me. I loved them, they loved me, I was hired. I rejoiced and gave thanks because finally I got what I was looking for. I would move in a month to start a really exciting job for 3 years and be able to save up and make myself practically debt free in that amount of time. I began selling everything I owned since I would be living with the family. I got rid of ALL my furniture–even my bed. I gave away over half of my shoes and clothing. And just prepared to cut everything down to the basics (just what you need to go on a world race…hmm…). Then I woke up one morning and got a call from this family. He told me that as they were typing up my contract they looked into some government policies and found a glitch. Basically what we were trying to do counted as a small day care and they could not afford the permits and I did not have the right training. There was no way we could make it work and I was now back to square one.
I spent the day crying and cleaning and crying and praying and cleaning and crying some more. The next day when I told everyone they were like that sucks but now you can stay in the city…something within me knew I had to leave even if I had to go home to Yarmouth (which I so did not want to do). That night I was just sitting on my bed staring at my wall and all of a sudden I started to remember my frist love. All my life, even before I became a Christian I had wanted to do missions. I had a love for cultures and travelling….and hope. Flash backs of all the missions trips I have taken came to mind. Prayers prayed up about asking the Lord to send me all came back and then I thought of my friend Christy Zbylut and how she went on the World Race this past year. I remembered every time I read her blog my heart would beat a million miles a minute and I would whisper "I wish I could go". I imagined what it would be like to abandon everything I knew and to embark on a journey with a band of brothers and sisters in pursuit of seeing Love change lives! I imagined it would be the greatest adventure I would ever take and just the beginning of more adventures to come. I realized that for the past 2 years healing, from my depression had been the main focus and now that I was healed it was time to return to my first love: MISSIONS.
So I Applied.
I Was Accepted.
And Soon I Will Go.
Like I said, looking back the path that led me here is quite funny. All the wrestling and searching and trying to make my plans fit God's mold and how they all felt through…and then remembering that when I was just a little girl, probably five years old, I watched a World Vision episode and cried. I prayed to a God that I barely knew and asked Him to send me some day. And 18 years later He brought that prayer into existence and in January 2012….I will go.
How Cool Is That?
