So the running joke is that Thailand is also known as "Tattoo Thailand" because most squads that come here end up getting a tattoo and a huge amount of racers on our squad planned on getting inked here as well. Why? It's cheap!! And the quality is still pretty good. I love tattoos!! I think they are a beautiful way to express yourself and be artistic, and they end up being great conversation starters to share your faith. So, I decided to get one too. Not that this is my first one by the way; I also have one on my leg that says "Daughter of the King" with flowers and a sword.
I have been playing around with some designs on what to get since El Salvador, and once I got here in Thailand they all sort of cumulated and turned in to what I think is a beutiful expression of everything I wanted to say. I thought about something that said "I am not my own" but that felt so harsh (even though it's true). Sometimes when I think of the verse that says we were bought at a price and that we are not our own, I totally agree…but the image I get in my mind is that I am a prisoner and everything I do for my master will be painful and unwillingly done. Thinking about this over the past year God has ever so gently been correcting that image and painting a new one of fresh freedom and love. He has been teaching me alot about being fathered by Him and how sweet it is to call Him Daddy and Abba…there is certainly no picture of a bound up prisoner in that!!! And then I remembered a prayer in one of my all-time favorite books by Brennan Manning. He suggested this prayer to a nun who was struggling through the sexual abuse she experienced by her earthly father as a little girl. Let me share an excerpt with you:
In the next few minutes, I prayed with her for healing. Then I asked her if she would find a quiet place every morning for the next thirty days, sit down in a chair, close her eyes, upturn her palms, and pray this one phrase over and over: ABBA, I BELONG TO YOU.
It's a prayer of exactly seven syllables, the number that corresponds perfectly to the rhythm of our breathing. As you inhale–Abba. As you exhale–I belong to You.
Through her tears she agreed: "yes, Brennan, I will."
One of the most moving and poetic follow-up letters I've ever received came from this sister. In it she described the inner healing of her heart, a complete forgiveness of her father, and an inner peace she'd never known in her seventy-eight years. She concluded her letter with these words:
A year ago, I would've signed this letter with my real name in religious life–Sister Mary Genevieve. But from now on, I'm Daddy's little girl.
Be aware, this is not sloppy sentimentality or indulgent wishful thinking. But rather a woman who dared to pray in a childlike trust and deep reverence that Jesus said would mark a disciple, and in doing so discovered the furious love of her Abba. The greatest gift I've ever received in my life in Jesus is the Abba experience. I can only stutter and stammer about the life-changing power of the Abba encounter.
My name is Brennan Manning, and I'm Daddy's little boy.
How beautiful is that? What a sweetness there is in calling the God all-Mighty, Creator of the Universe…your Daddy…your Abba. In this prayer, Abba, I belong to You, there is certainly an aspect of "I am not my own"….but when we place Abba in front of it, it becomes so gentle. My Abba knows best and He loves me deeply, so surrendering to His will is sure to be sometimes difficult, but will always be the best thing possible! We must remember that He is the same guy who came down to earth and promised Life to the FULL!
I also added Orchids to this tattoo because they are my favorite flower, they are everywhere in Thailand, and because they have an insane amount of symbolism!!! There are many I could tell you about but I will share the greatest one. When an orchid is plucked from it's natural habitat, it has this insane ability to stay strong for a long time before it needs to be put in water. The trick is it holds alot of nutrients and water in its stem and draws from that to stay alive. I have certainly felt plucked from my natural habitat this past year and would not have survived if it wasn't for the strength from my Abba. In belonging to Him, I have this insane ability to go places and do things I never thought I could do.
I hope you receive this gift of the Abba experience! May you find your worth, your healing, your hope, your strength and abilitity to do all things, in the fact that you have an Abba and you belong to Him!
Also, Jonathan and Melissa Helser wrote a song out of the inspiration of Brennan's prayer. Check it out!
