This year has been quite an experience for me. But how do I capture it all in just a few short words on a page? The truth is, I simply cannot. So much has happened to me. Transformation. Growth. Change. Confidence. Trust. Faith. Reliance on God. Healing. And the list goes on.
Where do I even begin to explain these things? Can I even explain them? Right now I don’t know that I can without anyone’s eyes glazing over as I babble on about this year because I haven’t truly finished processing it all myself. These past 11 months have had a life-long impact on me that I am still unpacking and learning from. But what I can tell you is what I am going through right now as I am freshly back on U.S. soil.
I have only been back in the States for 4 days now and as great and wonderful as it feels to be back “home” it also feels weird and foreign. I am able to talk to people and understand them because for the first time in a long time we both speak the same language. However, I have learned almost immediately upon re-entry that talking about poop is no longer an acceptable topic of conversation with those around you. Anyone who has been on the Race before knows all too well how much we all talk about our bowel movements as they have been one of the many integral parts of our lives this year. And I know people poop here in the States. Everyone poops. There is even a book about it called “Everyone Poops.” So why can’t we just all talk about it without it being taboo or awkward? Apparently I have a lot more to re-learn that I had anticipated. (Note to self: I need to actively remind myself not to talk about poop unless it’s with a fellow M Squad person.)
Language isn’t the only thing that feels foreign to me. Money does to. What currency am I using again? USD? I don’t have to figure out a conversion rate? What?! (Insert a slight freak out and feeling of excitement but nervousness that I don’t have to constantly have a calculator app pulled up on my iTouch). In addition to this, I feel the urge to barter with taxi drivers here in Chicago as I hop in a cab to see friends across town. It feels strange and unorthodox that I can’t set a price before the taxi driver drives me where I want to go. Not only that, but the drivers actually know where I need to go. It was seriously $12 to go 3 miles?! I haven’t paid more than $3 at a time for a taxi ride ALL year, and suddenly I’m seeing dollar signs disappear before my eyes as I slide my credit card in the card reader! That’s another thing – I haven’t been able to use my credit card almost all year. Almost every country I’ve been to doesn’t use cards. They all use cash. But hardly anyone here in the States uses cash anymore. Speaking of cash, here is something that might make you chuckle: I saw U.S. coins laying on my friend’s end table and stared at them in amazement as I literally forgot what a nickel, dime and a quarter looked like. They look so weird!
Personal hygiene is also something that declined this year and something I need to re-learn. When all you have to shower with is a bucket of water on the Race, you tend not to take many showers for one of two reasons: 1) there isn’t enough water or 2) it’s freezing cold and you can’t bring yourself to take a cold shower. But now I can take a hot shower. For as long as I want. And the hot water doesn’t run out. I actually feel like my skin is burning when I take a shower here. Weird. (Don’t worry though, I have showered every day since I’ve been back so I am off to a good start and looking fresh as ever!)
It also feels weird to have electricity running 24/7 and have internet access that not only is FAST but doesn’t cut out constantly. But you won’t hear me complain about that. That part I am going to get used to pretty darn quickly.
Maybe you read all this and laugh a little, but this real life for me right now. I am literally in awe, utter shock, amazement and bewilderment as I step back into the American lifestyle. I realize how my lens on life has changed in just 11 months and how incredibly blessed I am. I’ve been preparing myself for re-entry for 2 months now by debriefing all 11 months of the Race with my last team. I’ve put lots of thought into filling out “re-entry assessment” forms that AIM has given us, and I’ve prayed a lot about where God will take me when I return home after I’ve had a life changing year. But re-entry is still an interesting thing and nothing can or could fully prepare me for it. So for now I will enjoy re-learning the American culture and embrace it. J
Love you all so much more than words can ever express. Thanks for following my journey this year, praying for me and supporting me. Stay tuned for more blogs in the future!
