This month’s ministry has a special place in my heart. Bar ministry is exactly what I thought it would be, hard & rewarding. Seeing the interactions between the women, children and men in the red light district hurts, but my heart is so happy to have been able to reach out to these people. My heart is broken because I recall what it was like to be stuck in a life of sin. I remember allowing sex to control me. I remember what it was like to drink to the point of not caring. I remember the men who made appearances in my life. The ones who would leave almost as quickly as they had arrived.
I remember the exact moment I decided sex meant nothing. I remember the text message clearly “you need to call ****. He got engaged”. I remember the tears streaming my face as I thought back to a week before as I laid in the arms of a boy who claimed to love me. I allowed myself to put down my guard because we’d never been able to stay away from each other – there was something magnetic when it came to us. He told me all the things I needed to hear; he told me how much he loved me, how he couldn’t wait to break up with his girlfriend because he just wanted to be with me – and now he was engaged a week later to the same girl he’d told me he no longer cared for.
It was in that moment I decided I would never be played again. I would be in control and emotions would no longer be attached to sex.
After that night I had convinced myself that I was in control. I wasn’t. I was wrapped in sin. I was allowing lies to entangle me further, I was pretending I wasn’t left hurt, empty, and ashamed every time I’d drunkenly give myself away.
Coming to Thailand I’d prayed for the opportunity to do bar ministry and God set it up. After being here for a month my heart is broken and yet so joyful & hopeful. It’s broken for the poor women, children and ladyboys (some of who I have the pleasure of calling friend) who are being sold. But more then that my heart is broken for the men and women who buy them. For the brokenness that engulfs them. My heart longs to continue to reach out to the people who have lost respect for their own sexuality and for other peoples. I long to see them restored, to see the beauty of what sex was created to be, and to be part of stopping a horrible epidemic of sex slavery which is plaguing our world.
To those of you who are reading this who might be stuck in a cycle of sexual sin and unable to get out know that there is a love that redeems. Now I can celebrate how beautiful Christ has made me. How he redeemed and renewed my life. How a love so beautiful and pure wipes away all shame and condemnation. If you’d like to know more about this love please feel free to email me [email protected] .
And to the Christians reading this. You are the key to making the difference, your words matter, your story matters – so share it. Impact lives.
I’m still $1500 away from being fully funded. If you’re interested in donating please click the “support me” link on the left hand side of the blog. May God bless you abundantly for partnering with me financially and in prayer.
xo.
Aimee.
