Saying Goodbye
I imagined that saying goodbye to
the kids at LIFE would be hard, but I didn’t realize how hard. I’m not much of
a crier, but I literally felt sick for the rest of the day after leaving
because I had been crying so much. I had been holding on pretty strong until we
all got together with the kids and Javier to pray for our parting. I wasn’t
crying out of sadness for myself or even for how much I’d miss them (though I
knew I would miss them terribly). I cried because of the unknown. Most of these
kids came from really rough backgrounds. I know there was a family of kids
there that had been rescued from a crack-house. They told me that one of their
sisters had been shot and I’m sure there must have been a lot of drugs and gang
activity involved. As far as I know, all the kids at LIFE had been sent to the
ministry by the court.
There was one particular boy,
Franklin that still had a family waiting for him in Guatemala City. He told us
that he had been sent away for “not obeying.” I’m not sure exactly what that
means, but I know that he is planning to go back to his family in February. He
was probably the hardest one to say goodbye to because he was the most
emotional. He kept saying goodbye over and over again- crying and looking at us
with his beautiful eyes. As we prepared to drive away he grabbed my hand from
outside the window and I slipped my bracelet on his wrist. He held on until our
fingers separated and the van rolled beyond the gate.
Another boy Alex, was 17 and the oldest boy. He knew some
English so it had been fun talking to him and getting to know him more. He told
me that he wanted to be a doctor and even specialize in something that would
take him 10+ more years of school. His enthusiasm for his goals made me so
excited for him. All I wanted was the assurance that I could look him up in 10
years, or even sooner, and see where he was at and if his dreams were coming
true. That’s what I wanted for all the kids… and that’s why I cried so much.
All their futures are a question mark to me, and not just that, but they may be
unanswered questions for me. It will probably be impossible for me to know what
happens to ever single one of them. They don’t have addresses or the internet
and some of them are too young to even write, really. Plus, I don’t know how
long each one of them will even be living at the ministry, or if they will be
moved.
Throughout
the whole process I realized more and more why it was hard to leave. I wasn’t
able to control the situation or the kids’ futures. That’s when I had to start
trusting God. God knows what their futures hold and He is going to protect
them. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the
Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a
future.” I just have to trust that what the Lord says will prevail and that He
is going to do a much better job at watching over them and protecting them than
I ever could. The keyword here though is TRUST and I think even as time has
gone on since we left Guatemala it has been taking root and sinking in even
more. I feel more comforted, and though I miss all of their sweet faces, I know
there is an amazing plan for each and every one of their lives.
