In the last month I have been learning a lot about “what is
mine.” Living in such tight community makes you truly appreciate the concept of
sharing. Everyone knows though that it is more often easier to receive things
than it is to give (especially when all your belongings are packed into one
backpack).
I have always enjoyed sharing, but
I have realized that the two hardest things for me to actually give are money
and time. I am such a “saver” when it comes to money and thought I like to
describe myself as “frugal,” I have to admit that sometimes I am just plain
stingy. With my time as well, I am such a busy person usually that sacrificing
time for certain things is not always easy.
There were a few key things in
Thailand that really got my attention and convicted me about the things I claim
to be mine. Someone said to me that everything we have in life is really God’s.
We have been blessed with certain things that God is lending to us while we are
here on Earth. Unfortunately we put a lot of weight and value on these things
in our lives and we hold on too tight, afraid of what will happen if we don’t
have them. If I commit to another Bible Study that means less time catching up
on my favorite shows or going to a fun event that might spring up that night.
If I pay for a friend to come out to lunch with me, I have less money if I want
to go shopping this weekend or go to the movies. Those are kind of silly
examples, but they are probably realistic ones. The thought that my time,
money, and possessions aren’t mine is revolutionary for me! I mean when I
really think about it, do we even deserve anything at all or have we invented
some kind of entitlement?
A great example of this that I saw
in Thailand came from being around our contact Ua. Ua became my team’s
hilarious “Thai mom.” She was never short of spunk and smiles. From the first
day we arrived she was so hospitable, dedicating her time, money, and energy to
give us the best experience possible in Thailand. She was so gracious. After
teaching at our English camps she would always take us to markets to try new
foods and experience new things. I can’t even count how many times we would
show interest in some kind of Thai delicacy at a market and before we could
blink an eye she had already bought all 7 of us enough to taste. By the end of
the month we were begging her not to buy us things, but she would always just
look at us blankly and ask, “Why will you not let me buy?” Ua has such a
generous heart that she cannot help but give. Receiving such blessings daily
really wears you down. When you realize how good it feels to be constantly
blessed with gifts you want to make other people feel that way too!
When we went to Chiang Mai at the
end of the month to visit the Free Burma Rangers, I was again given an amazing
example of people who “lose everything” daily. When I arrived on their property
I felt immediately that I was somehow a co-owner of everything there. The
Eubanks’ offered us food, shelter, activities, time- as if everything was
public domain. Even how they talked about their possessions gave off that air.
This of course must have been normal for people who live each day giving their
lives for their friends.
So my question to you is this: what
in your life haven’t you lost yet? What are you holding on to so tightly that
you are afraid of losing? We all have something whether we like to admit it or
not.
One thing has really helped me
change my mentality about what I deserve and what I claim as mine. It takes a
lot of practice because I definitely have my selfish moments, but when someone
asks to borrow something such as my computer
and I really don’t want to let them, I just have to think, “It’s not mine.” I have been blessed with it, but what right do I
have to be selfish? We talk about loving our neighbor as ourselves and doing
unto others as they would do to us, but do we consciously think about that
OFTEN? Or EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE? Shouldn’t people matter more than things that
will fade away? What if we gave to others to the point where we had to actually
trust God that he would provide for us? What if we blessed other people as much
and more as we like to be blessed.
So
I am in a process of losing everything. It is not easy and I’m not always going
to like it…but the best I can do is work my way from releasing what is
important to me- “every once in a while”, to “often”, and then see what happens
from there.
Matthew6:19-21
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth
and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for
yourselves treasure in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where
thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart
will be also.”
