It was 40 degrees and pouring rain and I found myself in Ashiya, Japan riding a tiny pink bike to ministry and looking out at the Pacific Ocean. Four months ago I was inspired by the same ocean from a bus window in Peru, and here I am wrapping up month five and the inspiration isn’t there. The ocean is beautiful but it no longer stirs my soul, and Japan is incredible but I have lost my passion.
As it started to sink in that something was off, I realized that this month has been characterized by a familiar numbness; A numbness that comes from complacency.
You see, the World Race is incredible. It is filled with new sights and sounds and experiences that I will never have again, but it is also 11 months long. And after five months of everything being new and exciting, nothing is new and exciting anymore. Coming on the race I wanted every day to be an adventure; but after five months, adventure starts to feel a lot like work.
In Japan, a few of my teammates and I lived with a single mother of two and helped to bring Christ into their home. I witnessed to moms of preschool children, taught English classes and helped to promote an after school program for kids. We made an impact by our presence and by sharing our faith, but as I was helping other people begin a relationship with Christ, my relationship with Him was suffering.
Relationships are a two-way street and in Japan I stood Jesus up. He was waiting for me. He had planned a beautiful date for the two of us. He wanted to tell me how much He loves me and how proud He is of me; of all the plans He has for our future together, but I never showed up. And I suffered because of it.
Don’t get me wrong; my month in Japan was great. The leaves were changing colors and the people I met were phenomenal. I ate sushi and drank green tea and rode a bike everywhere, but I missed out on so much because I was talking about God and not to Him. My prayer life was weak to say the least and I got distracted.
I recognized the numbness as soon as I noticed it because it is a feeling that filled most of my college years. It’s not disbelief or lack of desire; it’s lack of relationship. It’s twisted priorities and selfish acts that lead to more of me and less of God. It’s not one big mistake but lots of small, misguided decisions. It’s not forgetting God exists but putting him on the back burner.
The problem is that this numbness doesn’t hurt God. He does not need us to fulfill His plans. He is all-powerful and bigger and greater than we can possibly understand. The truth is that it hurts us. Without a relationship with God the blinders of the smallness of our earthly existence obstruct our vision. Without a relationship with God challenges are overwhelming and insurmountable. Without a relationship with God our lives lose purpose and our dreams are small and insignificant.
So as I enter the second half of my race, I am living with a new conviction to strengthen my relationship with God every day. To seek Him in every situation, and to never let complacency make me numb to the wonders of God in my life. I challenge you, in this Advent season, to open your eyes to the incredible work God is doing in your life and to celebrate Christmas with a new joy that comes from a personal relationship with our Creator.
