There’s something that I want to address — and continue addressing for the next year of life. My hope is that this conversation never fades, and that no matter what I write about, my words would effortlessly hold of the aroma of this disposition:
“Run With Abandon”
Welcome to the entirety of my relationship with the King, wrapped up in one phrase. It’s not just a catchy tag alluding to whimsical aspirations of running through fields with no cares (but knowing me, there’s no way that could be far off).
Run With Abandon is desperation. It’s saying, “In the midst of millions of alluring worldly treasures, I’m throwing everything aside to run to You, my King. With my gaze fixed on You, nothing imaginable could slow me down. There’s nothing that I want more than I want You.”
For many of us — including myself — this is a choice: we have to say to ourselves, “Self, run toward the Father. You know He has your best interest in mind.” But my challenge to every single one of us is for this disposition to become instinctual to the point where we flee from the worship and comfort of worldly pleasures and are not even slightly fazed by the enemy when he tries to distract us. Why? Because we are so enraptured by the King that we couldn’t comprehend having such affections toward anything else.
Let me tell you a secret: it does not take discipline to achieve this instinct; it takes love and desperation.
“When you are made desperate for God, your pursuit of God takes on a different quality. When it’s personal survival that’s at stake, you begin to seek Jesus in a different way. You get a look in your eye that appears half-crazed to others. You’re willing to go anywhere or do anything. No price tag is too high. You look at other people and think, ‘I love you, I respect you, I think you’re a very nice person — but if you don’t get out of my way I’m going to run you over. Because I have got to touch Jesus!’ … Desperate people don’t struggle with the same distractions and hindrances as the general population. A desperate person would never say, ‘I struggle to find time for the secret place.’ Or, ‘I get easily distracted by everyday demands.’ Such petty distractions could never hinder someone who is desperate.” (Secrets of the Secret Place, Bob Sorge)
By now, you’ve likely decided whether you want this or not. If you’ve decided you don’t want it, I encourage you to ask God what you’ve invested in that is satisfying you to the point where this disposition is not appealing. If you have decided that you do want it, but don’t know how to get desperate, here’s an answer: Ask God. “Father, make me desperate for you.” When you pray this prayer with a genuine longing to be with Him more, He will bless you. He knows your heart. And I promise, He wants you one million times more than you could ever want Him. He’s dying to live with you when you are in full surrender, and He will not give you more than you can bear when you give Him your “yes”.
Last April, I was liberated from 15 years worth of doubt, anxiety, and fear. I’ve never been so free. For a month or so afterward, countless friends and strangers painted this picture of freedom for me, and this is what Run With Abandon means to me:
I’m in a beautiful green meadow with rolling hills surrounding me. There’s an oak tree a couple hundred meters off and I spy Jesus waiting for me underneath. I’m in a yellow floral sundress that dances with the wind. I run with abandon toward Jesus, eyes flooded with tears of pure joy. I’m within feet of Jesus but cannot slow down because I just can’t wait. He’s laughing. Suddenly I’m in His embrace for eternity.
This is why I run with abandon. I can’t wait to see my King. Join me.
All my love,
A
ps. Be on the look out for Run With Abandon t-shirts detailed with the beautiful logo crafted by the one and only Suede Silver. If you’re eager enough, leave your email in the comments and I’ll reserve one immediately 🙂
For those of you who keep finding yourselves desperately hungry for deeper connection with the Lord, I recommend two books:
1. Secrets of the Secret Place by Bob Sorge. This man is sold out for King and has crafted this book specifically to lead brothers and sisters into the most enriching quiet time imaginable. This book changed my life.
2. Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper. This book explains nearly 100% of why I’ve decided to go on the Race. He will teach you what living radically looks like in an extremely practical way. This book has also changed my life.
If a specific book has challenged you to run harder, leave the title in the comments!
