Ok so lately I’ve been wrestling with this idea of God’s love. I know that God is love and in all things is God’s love but do I feel it? Can I explain it in such a way that would others who do not fully comprehend the simplicity of love get it? Can I fully allow myself to trust in that love?
Is God’s love enough when that’s all you have? When you go to bed starving, is the love that God has for you enough? When you don’t even have a bed to go to sleep on is God’s love enough? When you’re forced to sell your body in order to supply for your child, is God’s love enough? When you fear the rain because of the destruction it brings to your ‘house’ is love enough? When you have never felt love in your entire life, can you understand such pure love?
When you have nothing else to give, is the love you give enough? When you have run out of food on a feeding and you say sorry and you give them a hug and a smile, is that enough? When all you have is some beads to make them some jewelry, is that love? When all you can do is smile at the woman stuck in prostitution and hope that smile is different than the 1000s of other smiles that day, is that enough? When you see the needs are so great but you are so small, is the power of God’s love that powerful?
I think for me, I know God’s love is enough for me but at the same time I have never been faced with questioning my faith in the nothings. I have never had to rely on God to be enough because I’ve always had. I also don’t for see God literally stripping everything and everyone away from me. Of course I can rely on God in the small things, in the daily little provisions, and I see God in that but never for survival.
What about the people that die before they are shown that love? What about the ones that didn’t make it? You hear about the success stories, but no one talks about the unsuccessful ones because they don’t come into church with their testimonies of how God changed their life. No one really talks about the ones that got away. Was God’s love enough for them then?
So for me, easy answer, yes God is enough. But for these people I meet, is the promise that God loves them enough? Will that promise fill their bellies and their hearts? Will that promise protect them from hurt and harm?
I’ve always been a tangible faith giver, I can show my love and my faith in tangible ways. Here let me show you I love you by helping put a roof on your house. Here let me show you I love you by sharing lunch with you. But when I have no roof to put on and no lunch to share, is God still going to use me?
Also not looking for a cliché here, not looking for the of course trust in God, in your weakness let him be your strength, you cannot love them in the way they need let God love through you…yeh I know, I know I know..but is it enough? Truly? Thus far in searching this whatever it is I’m searching, the only real conclusion I have come across is that someone asked me if love was all I had to give, and it wasn’t enough, does that mean you no longer give it? Answer, no. You still love regardless. You still fight for them even if you don’t know how.
