Teen Challenge and One Teen´s Challenge

Two days after we arrived in Panama we found out that two teams were displaced and their contacts fell through so they would be staying with us. Sweet! So there are 21 World Racers, and currently one squad leader, and Jose (our contact) and his whole family in one house with one bathroom. The water is occasionally on, but since it´s month three we have learned that if the water is not running you just have to take a bucket of water and pour it into the toilet to flush – no problem there. So these past couple of days we have been trying to figure out what everyone´s ministry is going to look like for the month and we have been trying to be really intentional to push into God´s presence and use our time wisely, by being intentional about getting into the Word, being intentional about spending time in praying and worship, and educating ourselves about spiritual warfare. We have had some free time to get to know the two other teams as well: Crash of Love and Pneuma. It is exciting that Crash of Love is here because we followed their team to El Salvador so we can share stories with each other about our different experiences with the same contacts.

 

In some of our free time I was sharing my story with some of my squadmates that I haven´t really had time to get to know. It seems strange that I am still sharing my story, but there are 64 of us. I shared how it was interesting and exciting that God placed me at Teen Challenge last month based on an experience I had with Teen Challenge in my past. I didn´t think this would be a blog worthy thing but my squadmates encouraged me to share it, so here´s my story:

 

I´m not sure if I have mentioned this in my blog yet, but it is no secret that I struggled with cutting in my past from when I was 15 to 17. It was difficult for me to be a teenage girl and I was unsure how to handle and express my emotions. After therapy and studying psychology in school, I have come to realize that cutting is a dissociating act and that I was simply trying to escape the situation rather than deal with it. However, like any other addiction, once it becomes an addictions you have a lot more to worry about. Once it had become a problem I was no longer focusing just on what the problem was and trying to express myself because now everything seemed clouded over by the serious symptom of cutting. Thankfully, I had a mother that loved me and wanted what was best for me and she drew the line that if I cut again I would have to return to the hospital because this behavior is not safe or healthy. I was having a rough day one day (it´s interesting because now I don´t even remember what was going on or why it was so rough) but I was overcome with emotions and I didn’t have any coping skills that I felt comfortable utilizing. I believed the lies that emotions would last forever. I didn’t want to go back to the hospital, so in an attempt to get attention and to calm my overwhelming emotions, I overdosed on medication. I ended up going to the hospìtal but thankfully not the psych ward.

 

My mom (God bless her – mama, I mean that) took me to Teen Challenge to tour it shortly after because we were running out of options and something had to be done. I agree with all of the steps she took, and even having been through it myself I don´t think I could have handled it better. It was a wake up call for me. I realized that people there had serious issues and that I didn´t really belong or at least I didn´t want to belong. I was adament that I didn´t want to go and agreed to go to DBT to learn skills to stop cutting. I was effective at learning those skills and haven´t cut myself since. However, all I did was learn some skills and I didn´t experience life change and true healing that comes through Jesus Christ.

 

I´m not going to go into my whole testimony right now, but I can say that I didn´t experience the true healing that comes from Jesus Christ because I continued to have that hole in my heart that I tried to fill with alcohol, relationships with men, eating disorders, and compulsive exercise. I ended up receiving healing from Jesus Christ in September 2009. I had had enough. I was tired of believing the lies of the world and living in a way that I felt was inauthentic to the calling that was deep inside of my heart, which I now know was the Holy Spirit. I decided that I was going to dive head first into God – whatever that meant. I decided to only go to work and to church for a month and a half and ended up going to church about 4 or 5 times a week and when I went home I only read the Bible and C.S. Lewis. The Heavenly Father healed me. He spoke to me in a song and I was overcome with joy one day and I remember calling my mom and leaving her a voicemail telling her that I have finally experienced true joy.

 

All of this comes up and I feel it appropriate to share with you because it was so interesting how God was able to send me right back to Teen Challenge and show me how much He has been pursuing me and taking care of me all along. I believe He wanted my heart when I was 17 and walked into the doors of Teen Challenge in Minneapolis, but I wasn´t listening to Him and didn´t answer His call. Thankfully the Lord didn´t give up on me and the Holy Spirit continued to speak to my heart, though I know I didn´t deserve it. And I think God had me go to Teen Challenge so that I would have the opportunity to share this with you. I pray that you can learn from my mistakes and that you will listen to that whisper in your heart that is saying, ¨”I love you just the way you are and all I want is a relationship with you.”