2/12/11
“Cultural Debrief: Remember Nhu”
More Cultural Facts
Facial expressions are very important. There are many different smiles that mean many different things. It is important to pay attention to non-verbal cues
In a village, it would be inappropriate to show the bottoms of your feet
In general, not a lot of Asian women show affection to their kids
Asians perceive clothing where there is a lot of skin showing as inappropriate
To Asians, white skin is beautiful
Men, you should not directly look a female in the eyes. Women, do not look at a Thai man directly in the eyes – it is considered flirtatious. If you happen to look someone directly in the eye, don’t do it again
Facts about Remember Nhu
Remember Nhu is where we are working and it is not an orphanage but technically a children’s home
The girls live here as preventative means from the sex trade industry
The goal for this organization is to have homes that are like homes, with house parents and many different “sisters”
Studies have shown when you have more than 60-70 children it no longer feels like a family atmosphere but more like an institution
The children here (at Remember Nhu) come from villages and backgrounds where they have never experienced appropriate touch with males or females. They do request here that you don’t go off by yourself with the girls. If the girls here had a male figure in their life, it was not a healthy/good/appropriate one
Many of the girls have alcoholic fathers, fathers that aren’t in the home, witness physical abuse, deal with abandonment or insecurity issues – the house parents are able to counsel and work through these issues with these girls
There are no girls who have been taken out of the sex industry; this organization is not able to provide the help needed for girls who are coming out – medical, psychiatric, etc.
All the girls here have been prevented from getting into the industry
These girls experience motherly affection often for the first time when they come here
The main focus of our ministry here should be on impacting these girls. Buildings will rust and destroy and our work on those buildings are appreciated, but we should be storing up our treasures on things that won’t decay
Since we have been here for a little while, it is ok to touch their heads now
There are a number of people that refer the girls here. A child at risk will always be in poverty, but that does not mean that they are always at risk for the sex trade if they are in poverty
If the girls have a mother or older sister in the sex trade, they are more at risk
There is a lot of AIDS in this society since brothels are common
Remember Nhu does have to receive permission from parents to be able to accept girls here – occasionally the child’s caregiver will come and take their child back, but that is not usually the case
Often it is a relief to have one less mouth to feed and usually there are more parents who want their children to come here but they are turned away since the girls aren’t at risk
If you take a girl in here during the middle of the school year it often will set them back for the year so they try to accept the girls before the school year will begin
The girls understand that they are being rescued from the sex industry because they often have friends or family members that have entered the sex industry
Each girl who stays here is sponsored by a church in the states. Remember Nhu and the other orphanage we eat at, across the street, are both sponsored by churches in Ohio
All the workers on the stateside are volunteers so if you donate to a girl here all the money goes to the girls
The girls can use anything that girls in the states would need: clothing, toiletries, school supplies. However, the best way to get stuff here is often through checked bags. Often if you mail stuff the cost of mailing will be more than the cost of the supplies
You can donate online at www.remembernhu.org
To sponsor one child it is $60/month and it covers all expenses – food, clothing, housing, education, medical expenses, house parents, etc.
There are times when churches can’t sponsor or you can’t send teams. There is another home in India, but you can’t send a team because Christians are persecuted there; people will watch and notice that Americans are there and will persecute and are aware that money is filtering through
There are 8 homes in 5 countries through this organization (Thailand, Cambodia, Burma, the Philippines – partners with KIM – the ministry I was at last month, India)
Remember Nhu is the name of the ministry for the states because Nhu is a Vietnamese name and it is not good to have a Vietnamese name in Cambodia. So when you refer to the ministry here you call if Help Thailand or Help ____ (whatever country it is in)
Lice is very common here
Often when the girls first arrive they will scarf down the meals, still having the attitude that they may not be able to eat. It takes them a little while to realize they will get three meals a day and can eat as much as they want
Parents/caregivers are allowed to call the girls for 10 minutes on Saturdays
Many of the girls will not go back home afterwards
In November 2003, there was a conference where pastors came to Chiang Mai from the states with overseas missionaries. Carl, our ministry contact, was one of those pastors. During the seminar, a missionary gave a picture of what he was doing in Cambodia. He talked about one of his cases, Nhu, a girl who was born again as a Christian but her grandmother didn’t approve of it and would stop feeding her. The grandmother ended up selling Nhu into the sex industry
Carl was touched by the story and made six trips before he ended up finding her. Nhu had avoided getting trapped in the sex industry by getting into cosmetology (she was sold to a man for a weekend and was able to get home and convince her grandmother to spend money to get her into cosmetology). Nhu is here now and ended up converting her grandmother to Christianity
The organization is planning to start a home in Mongolia. In Mongolia, the housing is so cramped, it is so poor, when the housing gets too tight, often a little girl will get kicked out and she will go live in the sewer. Pimps are aware that girls are living in the sewer and will go traffic them
Another home in the works in Cambodia – this one is in the works for boys
Facts on the Sex Industry
Many girls from the villages don’t speak Thai and are taken to Bangkok and trafficed since they don’t speak the language and will have a hard time getting home
Once a girls virginity is sold, it is a lot easier to sell them again and again until they end up in a brothel
Often Vietnamese girls will get trafficed in Thailand. When you are a Vietnamese girl living in Cambodia with very little education, you have three options to taking care of yourself: selling your body, begging for money, or digging through the garbage
It is culturally acceptable for men to utilize the brothels here
1/3 of the people abusing children are government workers, 1/3 are locals, and 1/3 are foreigners – mostly Americans and Japanese
Since 1/3 are government workers it is hard to fight against it
The raids you hear about typically are when the children have AIDS and people know that they do, they will put the children in a brothel, and police will do a raid, but it’s because these children are unwanted in the trade and used as a publicity stunt
The pimps are very aware of what is going on. If you are posing to be a customer, but you’re actually an undercover news worker, it is very dangerous since you could get killed
Brothel workers will often pay the taxi drivers to lead customers there
If you are a single guy and get into a tuctuc (taxi) you could get sent to a brothel if you get in the wrong tuctuc. If you are an Asian girl and don’t speak the language you could get sent to a brothel. So, it’s a good idea to travel in pairs
In this culture, girls are lower than dirt. We treat our pets in America better than girls are treated here
Many of the girls in the sex trade are from the Hill Tribe, a big reason is because they don’t speak Thai and speak their own dialect
One of the King of Thailand’s daughters has taken a stand against the sex trade, which is a huge step for Thailand
