most of you know this, but for those who don’t, i have naturally curly hair, very curly. also for those who don’t know, i normally straighten my hair. so, to be honest, i am most nervous about having to havre curly hair for 11 months. i was pretty upset when i started to realize the extent of this fear. i had been growing my hair out for a year and i was pretty close to getting dread locks yesterday…so that i wouldn’t have to worry about my hair for the next year. i was talked out of it (and i’m thankful that i was). however, in the process of being talked out of it, i realized that my hair was a cover up for a greater insecurity in my life. i am not terribly into having “great hair” or spending tons of money on an expensive haircut or anything like that. however, i realized that my fear was rooted out of insecurities about my appearance. this was something that i haven’t really addressed to this extent for several years. it was something i struggled with when i was an adolescent but i found that as i am getting older it is not as much of an issue. however, teenage addie reared her ugly head recently upon planning for this trip. this is not something i’m proud of but it is something that i would like to address and work through. i chopped off my hair yesterday and with the accomodations i will likely have to have curly hair over the next 9 days at training camp. i pray that the Lord will be able to work through my insecurities so that this would not be a barrier from getting in my way. it sounds so petty, but we all have our things, right? plus, you don’t really realize the grasp that something might have in your life until there is a very real possibility that it will no longer be there.
wrote this yesterday:
so i’m on the plane, woke up at 5:30am to head down to Atlanta. I’m going down a day early since my parents live in Atlanta, tomorrow i will be heading down to training camp with the rest of my squad (and i think two other squads).
