a missionary in Africa. I didn’t want to go to Africa where it was hot
and there was no tv or friends. I thought that if God called me to go
to Africa, I would just pretend that I hadn’t heard Him. Fortunately,
I have grown up a lot in my faith. When I went to college, I realized
that when I surrendered everything to Him, that included my fears. I
gave him my fear of being called to live overseas, and felt so free as
soon as I did. Once I had given it to Him, it seemed like that was the
end of it. I have never viewed myself as “the missionary type” and so
when I heard about the World Race, I thought, “Oh that’s cool, but
probably not for me”. I applied, but definitely did not expect to
actually do it. After I applied, I thought more about it, and the more
I considered it, the more it seemed like something that the Lord was
calling me to. I tried to find some reasons not to go, like
theological differences, or conflicts with the departure date, etc. but
God kept taking those away. When it came down to it, I made a list of
pro’s and con’s and a look at them really said something about the
trip. This is basically what it looked like:
I felt pretty stupid when I looked at the
cons. What does God care about the money? And if I decided not to do
this because I was scared, I’m pretty sure that would be the dumbest
reason ever not to do something. The final straw was that God was
taking anything away that could serve as a crutch. I had to committ
before I heard back from any grad schools, before I heard whether or
not I had gotten a grant to help pay for it, and before I had heard
about any job offers. Also, when I had looked at some sample routes,
there were a lot of South American countries, which worked well with my
background in Spanish. Of course, our route has no Spanish speaking
countries. When I realized all of this, I could almost hear Him
saying, “ok, I’ve taken all of this away. Now just depend on me”. I
decided to go becuase I just want more of Him. I want to really need
Him when I wake up in the morning. I want to actually get out there
and DO something for Him. Sure, I’m scared, and unsure, and worried,
but I know that this is what He wants for me, and that makes me excited! I want to change and be changed, I want to love and be loved, but most of all, I want more of Him.
