 “I’m not easily offended. If you knew my family, you’d understand.” I say this often with both sincerity and a smirk. My family speaks boldly, directly, always. Seventy percent of communication is joking and teasing. I’ve seen myself as a tender hearted girl grow into an unoffendable woman, so I’ve been surprised recently at how easily my heart bruises and shrinks back from people’s words.Â
I searched my heart and asked God “why?”. Papa, why is this heart so fragile, these words so heavy? What do you want to teach me in this? Then I remembered that I’ve been asking to have an open heart and to love more. You are faithful. This is a battle, but I’m not in it alone.
We’re fighting for it all. We’re fighting the darkness. We’re fighting the lies of the enemy. We’re fighting our flesh. We’re fighting to live in the light. We’re fighting for love. We’re fighting for a Kingdom that cannot be shaken. We’re fighting for each other. We try to walk hand in hand through these battles. We take a few hits, sometimes from “friendly fire”. We grow weary, let go, and stumble. And when we do, we find ourselves on hands and knees with a defeated perspective, facing lies we’ve already slain. But He’s fighting for us and calling us higher. It’s a choice to get up and join hands again.
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You can’t fight hand in hand with your brothers and sisters if you are holding tightly to your own heart, clutching your own rights for defense, and nursing your own wounds. Give it up. With open hands, humility, Â and an honest word, you’ll be pulled higher.Â
Relationships are the hardest and best thing we do. Every battle we face together, every perseverance, every hard conversation, every pride bowed low, Â every choice to love makes us stronger as individuals and in our relationships.Â
I want an open bleeding heart. I don’t want to grow calloused or put up walls to protect myself. I don’t want to defend myself or nurse my wounds. I give You every wound for healing and character. I look into Your eyes and see my reflection there, see who I really am and determine that it will not be shaken. I look deeper still into beautiful burning eyes and see the reflection of people around me. And my heart is softened still more. How beautiful are Your children. Teach me to fight for them, with them, eyes fixed on You. Teach me to speak the truth that I see in Your eyes over them. Teach me to love in the face of offense, intended or not. I choose love.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. I Corinthians 13:4-7
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