Spending Christmas without your family is never easy, especially as an 18 year old- especially when you’re on the opposite side of the world.
Since I left for the Race I hadn’t been homesick much, if at all, until the holidays approached. I finally broke down when I was FaceTiming my mom the day before leaving for Gorkha, the mountain village I’d be spending the next 8 days in (including Christmas). I couldn’t even have a good conversation with her because of all the constant commotion and craziness that happens when you’re living with 14 girls. The next morning we took a 4 hour bus ride to Gorkha- we were told we’d be camping on the side of a mountain in a village in the jungle. I just want to throw in that this bus ride- like most vehicle rides here- was terrifying. We were flying around curvy mountain roads, passing cars left and right, slamming on breaks and praying our backpacks wouldn’t fly off the top of the bus. Praise Jesus we arrived safely!
We hopped off the bus and hiked through the jungle for about 30 minutes down a tiny, steep path to arrive at our campsite. I quickly realized that there would be a hike involved if we wanted to go anywhere at all. Then I realized I was sick to my stomach and spent the rest of the evening nauseous and throwing up. At this point it’s fair to say that I was not in the greatest mood- I was in no way glad to be spending my Christmas like this.
I asked Jesus to partner with me in this, to give me joy, comfort, to teach me something through it. And, like always, he came through for me. I spent the next day resting and praying, praising God before he answered my prayers because I believed that he would. This is something new that God has been showing me- praying with faith. Not saying, “God, will you…” but instead saying “God, you will… you can… and even if you don’t, you are still good and I trust you.”
Matthew 21:21-22, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt… you can say to this mountain ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”
The Lord started revealing to me how much I was really giving up by being here. I reflected a bit and realized that this journey has not been easy. I haven’t had control over what I eat in the last 4 months. I’d been sleeping on the floor the last 3 weeks. I’ve had zero privacy, and barely any freedom in where I go and what I do. I’ve been wearing the same few pairs of clothes over and over again. Only been able to talk to my family and friends back home a handful of times.
God brought my attention to Matthew 10:37-39 and Matthew 8:18-22. Go read these now!
Both of these verses talk about the cost of following Jesus. Back when I signed up for the Race, it sounded all adventurous and exciting. I think that’s how it is when we start following Jesus. We’re all hyped-up to say “yes” and go on this great adventure with him. But as time goes on, the journey gets harder. He asks us to give up more and more, and there comes a point when it’s like, “Dang Jesus. I’m tired. I just want my own bed tonight. I just want to spend Christmas with my family. I want fast-food instead of rice again. This is so hard.” But I remembered who my God is and what He did for me. I remember that cross, the sacrifice that was made for me. And I’ve made my decision:
Jesus is worth it.
I have counted the cost, and Jesus is worth it. He is worth everything. He’s worth Christmas away from home, every step of the hikes it took to reach a church, every dollar I fundraised to get here, every early morning and late night of ministry, every time I’ve missed my family, every day I was sick, every moment it was hard to love someone. He’s worth it all.
When I chose to believe this, it changed my outlook on everything. I immediately had so much joy in my circumstance. Now hiking an hour and a half to do ministry wasn’t just something I was doing because I had to because I was on the World Race. It was something Jesus was asking me to do, therefor it was worth doing, no matter how difficult it was.
A couple days later, when Christmas rolled around, it was a joyous day. My heart was overflowing with thankfulness the whole time. I hiked to a church to celebrate Christmas by worshipping and dancing with the Nepali believers there. I didn’t get any presents (and Santa didn’t even bother to show up!), but it was the best and most humbling Christmas of my life. I celebrated Jesus. I spent Christmas remembering and appreciating him instead of presents or food or anything else. And I don’t think I’ll ever look at Christmas the same way again.
