Have you ever felt alone? Like all the effort and motivation you use to have vanishes and you see yourself trying to find someone to help lift you out of the deep water you’re swimming in. Even though you have plenty of people that are giving you their hands asking you to grab on for help, and yet you’re too scared to give them your hand because you’ve been alone for so long that the image of losing that comfort is too much to take. As I was sitting in a park near my house I saw this flower sitting by itself in the field. It was all alone trying desperately to grow into something more. While looking at the flower I couldn’t help but think about myself as that flower; but I will get back to that in a little while. First I will tell you about my past weekend.
We had the largest fundraiser (a HUGE garage sale) we’ve done since I got accepted into the Race and I cannot tell you how absolutely incredible it was. My mom worked vigorously to pull the garage sale together by asking people for donations and help. Without her help we would have never gotten it done and I am so grateful to have her as my mama! When the first day came we had 14 different families donate to help get us to our goal of $1,000. Pretty crazy right? the people I’ve talked to haven’t even come close to that goal but my parents kept telling me to just put my trust in God, and as hard as that was I handed Him all my stress and worry putting my trust in Him instead. On the first day my mom gave me updates on how much we had gotten so far and as the numbers went up I couldn’t believe it. God was proving me wrong and that He was providing. Later that day as we were picking up more items for the sale we set our new goal of $1,500. We woke with new life, excited for what God would bring that day. By the end of the day we raised $1,443 thanks to the help of our incredible friends and neighbors who listened to Gods call to help me. One of our sweet friends ended up donating another $100 to help us reach our goal. I was speechless of the love and support that was shown to me.
We decided to go and use some of the money from the garage sale to get pieces of my gear. My mom told me to go ahead and purchase all the large items on the list (tent, sleeping bag and pad, and my back pack) and I objected at first thinking that it would add up to way too much money but she told me again to get it all. I decided to listen to that voice in my head telling me to trust her, so we went ahead and bought it all. With a full heart I set up my tent in my room, also later camping out in my room that night, and my parents came in. They came in holding my birth certificate and an envelope wrapped inside; confused by what it was I opened it. When I looked inside I saw green looking back at me. I took out the flat bills with tears in my eyes I counted the money which totaled $2,120. Once again God made me speechless. I couldn’t help but smile and cry because my father provided for me. The things that made me feel so alone and washed away by the water God was pulling me out from them.
Now back to the flower! The reason the flower reminded me of this is because I believe that I was like that flower. I felt so alone in funding for my trip, trying to handle school, friends, family, and everything else life throws at you that I forgot about all the things and people God gave me who reach out and grab me before I drown. Even though that Flower was completely alone in the field it still had the sun, rain, and soil which helped it grow in a hard environment. I might feel alone in fundraising but yet I have my parents, neighbors, friends, and most importantly God who all help me grow in my funds and in love. No matter how alone I feel they are right beside me to shine on me with their love, to feed me with their encouraging words and actions, and help to keep me stable as the wind tries to blow me down.
Yes I am comparing myself to a flower, but in some ways we are all that flower. We try and grow on our own because we are so use to be alone that to ask for help seems foreign but we cannot go alone, it’s just not possible. We have to accept the hands that reach out to help us, and the things that help us grow. I am truly thankful for all the people God has put in my life that are supporting me, loving me, and helping me grow. You have no idea the incredible strength you have put in my heart by doing the simplest thing like donating to my garage sale or to the huge things like the nameless person who gave me more money than I ever imagined I would get. God has given me new life in my pedals.
