“For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed—a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.”
-Romans 1:17
The fact that I’m even writing this blog is crazy to me. I never thought that this is what the next part of my life was going to look like. In less than 4 months, I’ll be halfway across the world with nothing but a backpack and Jesus as my guide. I’m terrified and elated and restless and excited and every emotion I can fathom!
I know that a lot of you guys are probably wondering what prompted me to completely leave the comforts of home to go on a 9 month mission trip. I geuss I’ll start from when I first heard about the World Race. A family friend was telling me all about it. To be completely honest, it didn’t sound appealing in the slightest. What she described sounded hard, scary, and way out of my comfort zone; so of course, God told me to do it. I remember when I first heard Him prompting me to go, I panicked. I flat out said “nope.” and proceeded to push the thought out of my mind. As the week went on, it seemed like every thing that happened led back to the World Race. Every time I opened my Bible, the passage would “coincidentally” be on obedience, trusting the Holy Spirit, or faith with no boundaries. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t get the World Race off my mind. I remember feeling so frustrated with God. Why would He call me, out of all people, to do this? I felt so incapable to do what He was calling me to do. I had a whole list made up in my mind of why I shouldn’t go.
1. I’m too shy and awkward to get up in front of people and share the gospel. I could never do that!!
2. I’m not spiritually equipped. I don’t have enough Bible knowledge, I’m not a “good enough Christian.”
3. It’s way too far out of my comfort zone. I wouldn’t be able to handle it.
etc..
And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. God wouldn’t call me to something that I’m incapable of achieving! I was called by God to go on this trip, and because I was called by Him, that automatically makes me qualified.
After much prayer, I made the decision to deny myself and surrender everything to Jesus. Stepping out in faith and saying yes to the race was (and still is) one of the scariest things ever I’ve done. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression intensely for the past four years of my life. I’ve allowed it to hold me back from so many opportunities that would have helped me grow. I realized that I’ve been placing my identity in my mental illness, when I should be placing my identity in Jesus. Going on this trip is the first step to truly allowing GOD to lead my life, not my anxiety and depression. I’m ready to give it all to Him.
I’m confident that stepping out in boldness and stretching myself (in literally every aspect!) is going to allow for infinite growth. I’m so stoked to see how God uses me for something so much bigger than myself! Please keep me in your prayers while I get ready to embark on this crazy journey!
Much Love, Abi.
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