I feel like I’ve been wrecked and made new at the same time. So much has happened and I feel like there hasn’t been enough time for me to process it. First few weeks of the race have felt like I’m riding a bike for the first time without training wheels. A lot of falling down and a lot of getting back up to try again. The first month while we are here, the whole squad is doing a phone fast. This has been harder than I thought it would be. It’s been difficult to adjust to the sacrifices that life on the field require.
my dependence on:
- People back home
- My own living space
- alone time ( this has been by far the hardest for me)
- My phone
- A large variety of materialistic things that I couldn’t bring with me;
It all vanished within the first day.
I knew before coming that I wouldn’t have those things, but living it out has been way harder than I expected. when life got overwhelming and stressful back home, those were the first things I ran to for comfort. when life in Craiova has been hard, those are also the things I want to run too. The biggest truth I’ve learned is that if God isn’t the first thing I’m running to for comfort, then there’s a problem.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all of our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted with.”
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
All the changes have felt like a slap in the face, and I need to be going to God for healing. It’s a work in progress. Leaning into God for peace has been something that I’ve struggled with for a long time. Whenever I become stressed, my mind tends to go into hyperactive mode. I start overthinking everything and I let my brain decide the best solution. Gods been teaching me that instead of looking for comfort in earthly things, I need to be running straight to him. It doesn’t even have to be this big complicated thing. All it means is praying and asking him to give me stillness within the chaos. reading my bible for a few minutes when I’m overwhelmed. Singing some worship songs to calm me down. Being Gods friend is SO simple. Leaning into his love and asking him for comfort is the only real way to experience true peace in times of hardship. Going to Him for comfort means finding true peace and growing in your relationship with him, but it also means enabling yourself to guide those around you into true peace!!! How beautiful is that? By allowing Jesus to comfort us, we get to turn around and share that same comfort with our community. Everyday I’m learning more about how to live in community with love and grace. 32 people living out of one house has its challenges, but It’s so worth it. Rather we’re playing games, watching movies, cooking dinner, or singing at the top of our lungs, I can always see Jesus within it. I’ve learned so much while living with people who are so sensitive to the Holy Spirit and so passionate to give away his love. On our sabbath day this week, we practiced a jewish tradition called Rosh Hashanah. On September 29th ( the first day on the jewish calendar), the jewish tradition is to eat apples with honey as a way to bring in a “sweet new year.” Our whole squad ate apples and honey together while setting intentions and ways we want to grow as we go into this new season of our life. The intention I set for the next year was to find full dependance on God and to completely place my identity and character in Jesus.
“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.”
-1st John 4:16
This is my verse for the year. It’s so simple and sweet and true. This next year, I will rely fully on God. I will lay it all at the feet of Jesus. Every fear, every hurt, and every problem is his. I will lean into him, and I will live in his love. I will place my identity in the love that he has for me, and show others that he has that same love for them.
Here’s to one month of adjustments, growth, hard days, good days, and everything in between. 8 more to go.
Thanks for reading! Sorry I’ve been a little slow with getting the blogs out since being in Romania. The first month has been crazy busy, but I should be able to start posting more going into the next week! Thanks for all the support and prayers. Love and miss you all <3
-Abigail
