I want to first apologize for the infrequent communication back to the home front. We’ve had an insane two months and my laptop has been out of commission for the past month due to my charger breaking.
So that’s that, but without further ado…
As I write this I’m currently in Lesotho, Africa finishing up what has been my favorite month of the Race so far. I’ll fill you in on all the beautiful happenings of this month on my next blog, but first let me take you back to January.
I find it humorous how much different God’s definition of great is than mine.
We started the month off with team changes. I had the privilege of being asked to team lead, so two of my former teammates and I joined forces with three others to form Overflow. I knew changes were coming, but to be completely honest I didn’t expect this much change to happen. This triggered some good old fashion Abel feelings that ended up in God revealing some big time areas of refinement. So that process happened, then Zimbabwe happened.
“It’s going to be a great month,” He told me.
After an absolutely insane 40+ hour bus ride that consisted of a 12 hour boarder crossing and the bus breaking down twice, we arrived in Harare, Zimbabwe. My feelings, however, apparently missed the bus.
I can’t describe to you how I felt, or better yet, how I didn’t feel as soon as we reached the city. God completely stripped away my feelings the first week there. I’m all about authenticity, so I’ll be real here. It was the weirdest thing ever. I saw horrible poverty and oppression all around me, but it didn’t faze me. I’d hug little African kids, usually a trigger for my feelings, and would feel nothing. Looking back on it now I realize how loving God was through all of this.
As I said before, this was by far the hardest and most testing month of the Race. Physical conditions were what you expect for Africa; water from wells, bucket showers, sleeping on the floor, but it was the spiritual conditions that changed the game. Over the course of the month we partnered with six different churches in a 60 or so mile radius of the capital city, Harare. This in and of itself exhausted us, but the ministry we were doing took it to the next level.
The second night we were there I was asked to give a sermon ten minutes before I was to go up. I’d given a sermon once in my entire life up to this point, but here I was. I went into the bathroom and starred in the mirror. “God, I got nothing. You’re gonna have to give this whole sermon, literally. Speak through me Father, Your words my lips.” This was the gist of my pump up prayer, then it was game time. Shocker to no one, God answered my prayer and showed up huge! Wasn’t how I would have scripted it, but it was beautiful to see my desire for full dependance on God on total display!
So that was the start of a month of insane ministry. They pretty much handed over the church to us, so we gave sermons, lead worship and bible studies, did evangelism, and all the things. Take feeling Abel and place him in an environment like this with a new team, new role, and even I can spell “train wreck.” This is the beauty of our Father, He didn’t let that happen.
Feelings are great, don’t get me wrong, but prioritized wrongly and they can go south in a hurry. I’ve lived far to much of my life placing feelings above truth, and there had to be a shift. So that’s exactly what He did.
First step, gone with the feelings.
Second, build a foundation of truth.
During that first week He asked me to seek Him with everything I got, even if I didn’t feel a thing. So that’s what I did. Alone time was hard to find in Zimbabwe but I found some rocks I could go off to each morning and just be with God. Sure I didn’t feel Him or feel it, but it was the discipline He was teaching me. He created circumstances that forced me to rely on Him for everything, and through that I found that He was literally everything!
That’s the truth He is jealous for you and me to live out on a daily basis. Having a foundation cemented in Him, our everything, changes everything! Reminds me of the part in the Sermon on the Mount were Jesus is talking about building your house on the rock rather than the sand.
“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” Matt. 7:24-27
To update you on my feelings, they’re back, just in a better more healthy place now. I’d almost call it a detoxing period of sorts that He took me through. The beautiful constant through it all was Him and His peace He poured out on me. Again, it’s another thing I can’t rightly describe in words, but the peace I experienced throughout the entire month, and especially the beginning, was incredible! I love how God is referred to in Judges 6:24,
“So Gideon built an altar to the LORD there and called it The LORD Is Peace…”
A friend of mine I met in South Africa told me something I’ll never forget. “God is always at perfect peace, calm, and rest, because after all He’s completely sovereign, and absolutely nothing happens outside of His control.” In theory, when we are truly living engulfed in God’s presence, we’ll breathe in His atmosphere of peace, calm, and rest regardless of our worldly atmosphere. This is the beautiful reality that we as His children get to live in! Throughout all the external chaos of Zimbabwe, I found this internal paradise of peace; intimacy with Our Father.
So after all it was a great month, just not the “great” I was expecting.
