The fairytale is over. Seven months into the race and the excitement and flair of it all has faded off. I wouldn’t say I’m homesick exactly, I’m just ready, ready to be in the next scene of this grand movie that is life. But that’s where I have to stop myself. God called me on this and that calling hasn’t changed. He didn’t lead and provide for a 7-month missions trip, but rather an 11-month one. He didn’t call me to fold when things got tough or lost their glamour… He called me to stand.
This month we find ourselves a few hours from Manila, the capital city of the Philippines, in a town called Bulakan, Bulacan. Putting aside the climate aspect, most intense humidity I’ve ever experience in my life, Asia has been a breath of fresh air. The culture and people here are absolutely incredible! The first night we arrived the church we’re partnering with hosted a welcome party for us all. From cultural dances to cultural food to great talks, it was a night to remember! And this was just the tip of the hospitality iceberg.
We’re the first Americans most people here have ever seen, so just walking down the street you’re a spectacle. I’ve had countless locals offer me food, drinks, and invite me into there home. Last week a few people from my squad and I got invited over for lunch. They sat there, smiling and exclaiming to us how honored and blessed they were to have us over and serve us food. For them having American missionaries in their home was a monumental moment in their lives, and their hearts reflected it. Also had my first race sleepover at my friend Byron’s house and it was legendary! Hung out with his family and they served us food and all things good till literally 1am! This is how they are and who they are, and to experience it first hand has been transformation. Side note, Asian food is absolutely fantastic!
So back to where we started. Yes this month has been littered with incredible experiences and new friendships, but it’s been a tough and challenging one in many regards as well. Spiritual warfare has been and is a big part of my story. I look back on Zimbabwe as one of the biggest times of external spiritual warfare I’ve ever experienced. This month, it’s been internal.
The month here turned into an all squad month, which at first was a hard one to swallow. Sure I’m a people person, but being in close courters with 38 others gets exhausting. This compiled with the fact that four people from our squad, one being my best friend and teammate, were sent home got my old mind stirring. The devil used my externals as a catalyst to get me second-guessing and over thinking what God’s spoken into my life. I went through the grind, thinking about if I should even be here, if this was really where and what God had called me to, etc. Amidst the heaviness though, He taught me.
I find it absolutely beautiful how intentionally God loves and leads us. He takes literally everything, even the attacks of the devil, and paints a silver lining. I’ve been reading chronologically through the bible this year and how God has spoken to me so timely, directly, and on point through His Word leaves me speechless.
“… For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on You.” (2 Chr. 20:12)
This was His call to me, seek Him, be with Him, and stand steadfast.
“…Seek Me and live.” (Amos 5:4); “Seek the Lord and live…” (Amos 5:6).
The simplicity yet power of this message amazes me. We don’t need this whole intricate, complicated game plan to overcome the evil one or even just our day-to-day struggles. All we got to do is seek Him, seek Him with everything we got, and He’ll take care of the rest.
Though it’s been heavy, this time has been beautifully impact full in my life. Kris described it to me as the tipping point. I can either keep searching for greener pastures over the fence, or learn some perseverance and patient and abide in the lush green grass I’m standing in, trusting that my Father will lead me through the gate in due season.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4)
So that’s where I stand, exactly where I should be. We’ve worked through the lies, instilled truth, and He’s been dropping gems on my lap left and right! A few nights ago we hosted a multi-cultural performance festival at the town square. We did cultural dances, performed skits, and had the opportunity to speak some big time truth to tons of people! To stand in the midst of God’s handiwork and be a part of something like that… indescribable. To meet a man stranded and suffering and have the opportunity to help him out and speak hope into his life… incredible. To hear God’s voice like a trumpet through Byron’s story… inspirational.
I find I express myself best through poetry, so I’ll leave you guys with one I wrote a few days after arriving in Asia. Love you all!
Seek Me
Seek Me and you will see
All the fruit abundantly
Grapes in season, berries too
The roots go deep, my God in You
Out of soil new life grows
Through the storm the water holds
When winds come, the strong stand
Drawing depth within His plan
