This blog is unconventional… i am going to be all over the place so I apologize in advance!!! 
Gods plan…. it’s a common thing that we all talk about especially if you are a believer. Trust is a HUGE part of that plan. I know I talked about this in my last blog but my life is about to be turned completely upside down and I am FREAKING OUT!!!! I am so excited to go on the world race but I am at the point where I want all the scary stuff to be over and I wanna jump on the plane! So the next few weeks I will move out of my apartment, I will tell my boss I am leaving for 11 months (and pray he still lets me come back to work when I return) and I will start all the official stuff like getting shots ( I am TERRIFIED of needles) buying gear and booking my ticket to training camp!!! Everything I have grown accustomed to and everything that is a norm for me will be tossed out the window and something new will fly in.
Around thanksgiving I was having Friendsgiving with my group and they asked what was one word that will describe this up coming year, my response… uncomfortable. Now I have always believed that being uncomfortable is how we grow, we take that step out on faith and fall or fly and either way there is a lesson there. Its all in how you choose to see things once you are faced with an outcome.
So that being said, moving back to my parents house is uncomfortable the last few times my mom and I have spent time together we have gotten into little disagreements, which even though they were little they REALLY stressed me out! I have always struggled with needing approval from my mom. I mean I use to run EVERYTHING by her before I did it just to hear her say it was ok or go ahead and it stopped me from doing a lot of things in life and possible missing out on things because i needed that conformation from her. So when we disagree on something it puts me in the bad head space of do I listen to my mom or do I do what I want to do. I love my mom and she has the best ideas sometimes, my mom has been blessed with the ability to think outside the box. I on the other hand was not lol. So having her opinion and thoughts on things really is super helpful because she will think of things that I probably would have never thought of. But when we don’t agree it gets bad and right now my response is ok well i’m heading home bye lol. Well living there (while i will have my own little get away) I don’t have that space or opportunity to “deal” away from her and her influence. Then on top of that… wait for it… they are so far in the country there is NO WIFI and everything is at least 30 to 45 min away, my job and church are an hour away!!! Tragic i know!!! I have gotten so accustomed to going home turning on Netflix or Hulu and chilling that in all honesty its probably not healthy! lol It will be sort of a detox before I leave because the drives and WIFI withdraws will be much longer once i am out of the US!! So I am stepping away from my nice 15 min drive to everything, wifi and personal space all to be uncomfortable and grow as the Lord has planned. While it all sounds scary I am trying my absolute best to stay focused on the lesson of it all and what I am getting is, while my squad mates are going to be leaving there norms in October i will have already left mine 4 months before and i will be better equipped to be there for them when it gets rough. Gods plan!
On the upside of moving home, my mom and step dad are probably 2 of the funniest people I know… like for real they make me laugh so much and I am honestly so glad that I will get to spend that time with them before leaving! My step dad has been an many mission trips and has traveled so much so I am sure there will be stories and advice shared that will be invaluable!
All of this to say moving back to my parents is uncomfortable and no I am not looking forward to it and not because of my parents but because its new and an adjustment and all my comforts are gone. Whats funny is at one point when I moved out i was sooo upset i wanted nothing more than to be at home watching tv with my mom and step dad. Funny how that happens. lol
* Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you he will not fail you or forsake you.* Deut 31:6
