Full transparency: I struggled to write this post for a while because there are so many reasons I said yes, and continue to say yes to going on the World Race. Because realistically, it’s not too late to turn back. But I won’t turn back, and this post is to let you know why.
God has called me and faithfully led me to this decision. Years ago He gave me a passion for ministry. While I never felt the timing was right, He continued to place this dream in my heart. It looked something like this:
“Abby, do you love me?”
“Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
“Feed my lambs.”
“Okay, maybe later.”
“Abby, do you truly love me?”
“Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
“Take care of my sheep.”
“I will, I will. Just give me a minute.”
“Abby, do you love me?”
“Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
“Feed my sheep.”
“Okay, I’m ready. But Jesus…I’m scared.”
“I know, child, just follow me.”
If you’ve ever read John 21, this probably rings a bell. But you get the point: every time God called me to pursue ministry full-time, I said, “maybe later.” Not a hard no, but definitely not a yes. And the crazy thing is, like Peter in John 13, just a few chapters earlier I said I would lay down my life to follow Jesus.
After doing life with Jesus for a few years, I was baptized at Grace Midtown. When the pastor asked why I wanted to be baptized I said, “Because I love Jesus and I want to spend my life saying yes to Him!”
Fast forward a few years and I still want that for my life. No more “maybe laters.” No ifs, ands, or buts…it’s just as simple as saying yes to Jesus when He calls me. I’ve found that sometimes saying yes to Jesus is easy – piece of cake – duh moment. But sometimes saying yes is hard or uncomfortable. Sometimes it looks like stepping away from what’s known to step into something completely new and different than anything I’ve ever done. But I’m okay with that. These past few years have been comfortable for the most part, and to be perfectly honest, haven’t required a lot of faith.
Is stepping into this calling a little scary and uncomfortable? Yes. Does it require a bit of faith? Heck yes. But I know this much: my best yes is in Christ.
So this time around when Jesus asks, “Abby, do you love me?” I’m responding with a big, fat, joyful “YES. Here am I. Send me!”
