If you would have asked me 6 months ago about my most commonly asked question, I would have told you hands down, “What countries are you going to?” To be honest, I had to look up the answer the first 5 times I was asked. Needless to say, I quickly memorized the list of 11 countries in the order that I’ll be traveling…Philippines, Thailand, Malaysia, Lesotho, Swaziland, South Africa, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Panama, Colombia and Ecuador…in case you were still wondering.
As you can imagine, so incredibly much has changed during these past 6 months. For starters, I told the company I’ve called home for 3 years that I’d be leaving in October. Talk about a difficult conversation…it’s not easy to say goodbye to a job I’ve found joy in and a team I’ve called family. But in saying goodbye to my team from these past few years, I’m making room to say hello to a new team this next year – a team who has already become my family.
I’ve felt my need for a savior to a new extent. Earlier in the year I was quick to: 1. run away from my problems and feelings, and 2. try and solve them on my own. I learned time and again that these two ‘solutions’ got me nowhere. It’s like I was walking towards the Lord, but I was facing the wrong way. God also taught me this: no matter how many times I let go of His hand, He never left my side. This is something I previously accepted as inherent truth, but I’ve now experienced it as foundational truth. To be completely vulnerable here – this was a huge breakthrough for me.
To piggyback off of that, I’ve seen that God is faithful despite my unfaithfulness. Y’all. Fundraising is HARD. It’s humbling. And it totally terrifies me. I’ve been unfaithful that God will provide and doubtful that people will want to partner with me in this mission. I let fear and doubt push me towards procrastination the first half of the year. But you know what I learned? God is incredibly faithful. He’s led my community of family and friends to support me so that I’m currently 72% funded towards my $18,200 goal. Do I still have some work to do here? Yes. Am I still a bit fearful? Yep! But I trust God’s provision a whole lot more than I did at the beginning of this process.
I’ve learned a lot about the value of time. People will tell you to be intentional with your time. I think that’s solid advice, but it was insufficient for me. I’ve been very intentional with my time, but I’ll be the first to tell you that I spent a good portion of this year being intentionally irresponsible with my time. Over the past 6 months I’ve learned how to intentionally AND responsibly manage my time. This is unsurprisingly becoming more and more crucial as I am officially three weeks from launch. Translation for all you sports people reading this: we’re in the 4th quarter and there are 2 minutes on the clock. No timeouts left – it’s go time. Whoa is right.
TLDR … (it’s okay if you don’t have any clue what these letters mean – I just learned this nifty acronym that all the cool kids are apparently using these days. It means “Too Long, Didn’t Read.” Synonyms: in summary, synopsis):
Six months later, my most commonly asked question is, “How are you?” Contrary to popular belief, this is not an easy question to answer. Y’all, please receive this with love and grace. Sometimes I’m just going to answer, “Great! I’m super excited!” And I totally mean it. My heart wants to burst with excitement when I think about what’s ahead. But there are also so many thoughts and feelings that I’m safely harboring behind that surface-level answer. You see, there are additional truths you should know too, and I hope this blog will help give you insight into those things. I’m a work in progress! My departure from Nebo is bittersweet – I’m sad to step away, but absolutely thrilled about what I’m stepping into. I’m trusting God in ways I never imagined. I’m faithful in His provision, to an entirely new extent. I’m chipping away at the things on my to-do list. And I’m constantly seeking to spend every precious moment with Jesus, family and friends.
That’s how I’m doing. But please be free and ask me anyway…even if you’ve already read this post. Much love and many blessings to each of you!
