In 8 days, I will leave the world race. My squad and I will fly from Guatemala City to Dallas for a layover, where half of us will rush through the airport to get to our flight going to Miami. The other half will not get on our connecting flight to Miami and will get on another flight home from Dallas. Needing to say goodbye through all the running and going through security and finding our new gates.
There aren’t words I can honestly use to describe the world race. I have loved it, and I have strongly disliked it. I have not wanted it to end, and I have counted down the days to when I would get to go home. I have loved living in a room with 8 people, where we would have movie nights and late nights talks. I have also despised it, looking at the mess on the floor and someone sitting on my pillow and not wanted to wait any longer to be in my bedroom alone. I have loved living life in another country, and I have longed for the luxuries of being able to have a car or ride a bike somewhere. I have also met people who bring me so much joy, and have had to say goodbye to them.
When I left for the race, I told my mom I didn’t want to change. I didn’t want to be forced to become someone I’m not, and part of that lose who I am. I didn’t want to be forced to change my values, and almost have an identity crisis of who I really am. In my head, Christians had to act a certain way, believe certain things, and want certain things or else you’re not really Christian. I did not want to become the stereotype of who Christians are today.
I showed up to Gainesville thinking I was going to be met by the most judgemental people I’ve ever met, and yet I found the most understanding a loving. The type of people who give out grace instead of condemnation. Right from the start found out following Jesus is not about rules and constant guilt, but love and grace.
From that new understanding and way of thinking, as a person, I changed through growth. I am still the same person I was in certain ways. I still love the same things, have the same personality, have the same dreams, and have the exact same morals and values.
However, I have grown and become a new person in so many ways as well. I have learned how to love my neighbor. That doesn’t just mean to be kind to your friends and the people you like, that means everyone. That means the people in your life you really don’t like. That means the person on the road who is continuing to try to sell you something or ask for money after you already said no. That means the person who gets mad at you when you think you’re right. And that means the person who doesn’t treat you with kindness. One of the most known verses in the Bible about love is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres.” (NIV Translation).
It doesn’t say love is conditional. It doesn’t say you love someone when they love you. Loving your neighbor (aka loving EVERYONE) is something I didn’t fully live out before. If someone hurt me, then in my head they didn’t deserve my love. This topic is much more complex and harder than we make it seem because it’s not normal in human nature. However, it’s something I’ve learned, and am continuing to grow in daily.
I have also grown in the areas of tearing down my sense of entitlement, seeing where I’m selfish and changing it, being more respectful to other’s thoughts and opinions, being able to address issues and confront others, being thankful no matter what situation or circumstance I’m in, trying my hardest even on my worst days, and respecting authority even when I don’t think the rules are valid. I could go into detail about all of these, but most of them can fall under loving your neighbor as well.
The race has been hard, but leaving it will be hard too. I am excited to go home and finally say hello to my friends and family for the first time in five months, but that also means saying goodbye to my community here. But through all of these mixed emotions, I know good things will continue to come.
That’s a wrap! Thank you for keeping up with my blogs over the past five months and for all your support. This will be my last blog (most likely) unless anything else comes to my mind that I should post. If any of you would like more details about how the race was or have any questions, please reach out to me at [email protected]
I invite you to make my journey, your journey. Here are three simple ways:
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