The heart of every girl in the world was made to hear “You are beautiful.”
About a week ago, our ministry host took us to a 2nd hand clothing store. It was like the goodwill of El Salvador so if you know me you know I was pumped. I live for thrift shopping.
Me and my team mates scoured the store for ministry appropriate clothing that we might be able to grab. I initially went in looking for a skirt.
My eyes kept getting drawn to this dress. It’s not a dress I would normally wear. It was very brightly colored pink, green, and yellow. It had buttons and beads all over the front of it. And little stitched designs all over it. It wasn’t “beautiful.” It wasn’t anything special.
But I loved it.
I’m not usually a person who cares much about what others think about her clothes. I rock my grandmas clothes just about every day at home and am proud of that. I love old stuff. Handmade stuff.
But this dress. It wasn’t my usual style. It was bright. If I walked into a room in it everyone would immediately notice me. It looked like something Polly Pocket would wear.
But I loved it.
I tried it on. I looked crazy.
I was a super tomboy when I was growing up. Always covered in dirt and sweat. Ripped pants and a t-shirt. Barefoot. That’s how I rolled most days. My mom had to practically hold me down to get me into a dress. I never wanted to play “princess dress up” or whatever else little girls play. I never remember a moment where I picked out a brand new dress, and ran up to my daddy, and just waited for him to tell me how beautiful I was.
I really didn’t want to buy the dress. It’s a little embarrassing to walk around dressed like Polly Pocket. Especially in a foreign country where everyone already stares and points at you and says “Gingo! Gringo!” I definitely don’t need help bringing attention to myself.
But I loved it.
So I bought it. And I avoided wearing it for almost a week. I had tons of opportunities to wear it. I avoided it because I didn’t think that it was beautiful enough. Cool enough. I didn’t think anyone would like it as much as I did.
One day I woke up early to shower before breakfast and I heard the Lord whisper to my heart “Wear your dress today.”
I had already picked out an outfit for the day. A comfy pair of shorts and a big t-shirt. I really didn’t want to wear the dress.
I promised myself before I came on the race that I would start being obedient to the Lord in little things. If I can say yes to traveling the world for Him for a year, then I should be able to say yes to wearing a dress for a day.
But it was a hard yes. I didn’t feel beautiful in the dress. I felt silly and uncomfortable.
But I wore it anyway.
Our squad leader Allison led a team time activity where we encountered the Lord in a guided process. My experience led me to think of a time when I felt a deep rejection. When I felt unwanted. Not beautiful. Not worthy of the pursuit of my heart.
And afterwords the Lord just kept telling me that He loved my dress. That He thought I looked beautiful today. That He wanted me to show Him my dress and be proud of it, like a little girl would stand in front of her daddy and show it to him. He loved the dress because I loved the dress.
God used a silly, Polly Pocket-ish dress to tell me who I was today. He used it to tell me that I was beautiful. That I was wanted. That I was worthy of the pursuit of my heart. And that He would never reject me, let me down, or break my heart.
The heart of every girl in the world was made to hear “You are beautiful.”
The voices we listen to are the ones we find our identity in. I listened to the wrong voice. The voice that told me the lies that I believed until God used a silly, Polly Pocket-ish dress to tell me the truth that my heart was waiting for.
Praise the Lord that He is a good Father. That He is just waiting for us to run up and stand in front of Him, and just wait for Him to tell us who we are.
