If you asked me what the biggest struggle I’ve experienced on the World Race is, I would tell you this:
Waiting on The Lord.
I struggle with patience. I love to be moving. I love to do.
But The Lord. He has no need to be in a rush because His timing is perfect. He knows exactly when to give, take away, and when to move.
Waiting on Him is hard. Hard. Hard. I find myself constantly asking Him, “When?”
“When will you answer this prayer?”
“When will this person come to know you?”
“When will you use me?”
“When will you heal me from this?”
“When will you help me grow in this area?”
I ask Him all the things all the time. And it’s okay because He’s a good listener and always meets me where I’m at.
And where I’m at alot of the time is impatient. With my own agenda. My own schedule. I’m constantly in a hurry. Always trying to rush into a new season. A new gift. A new activity. And I find myself rushing ahead of The Lord only to find myself feeling distant from Him and having to go back to the moment He asked me to wait and I said no. I try to go on ahead and do things on my own strength when He’s saying,
“Be still. Sit and enjoy this with me. Walk with me. That’ll be there later.”
I miss out on what The Lord has for me while trying to rush into what He has for me.
I’m learning to listen to His voice. I’m learning to love the waiting. I’m learning to rest in His nearness. I’m learning to be okay with being still.
Last night, our squad got to worship together. It’s always one of my favorite things that we get to do together as a family. Our worship coordinator played a simple song. I’ve heard it a few times. But I had never heard the words like I did last night. The words were just for me. It’s become my heart song as I’ve gone throughout my day. And I don’t think that’ll change any time soon. I’ll sing this song from my heart to His every day if it pleases Him.
It’s a promise from me to Him that I’ll wait. I’ll do my best to be patient. I’ll sit and enjoy with Him. I won’t rush Him.
It’s me declaring that I trust Him. Trust His timing. Trust His goodness.
The lyrics are:
“Lord i don’t want to rush on ahead
in my own strength
when you’re right here
I’m not in a hurry
when it comes to your spirit
when it comes to your presence
when it comes to your voice
i’m learning to listen
just to rest in your nearness
i’m starting to notice
you are speaking
Lord i want to love like you
i want to feel what you feel
i want to see what you see
open my eyes i want to see you more clearly
open my ears i want to hear you speak
tell me your thoughts whats on your mind
i’ll be your friend, i want to see through your eyes”
I’ll always be a person who wants more. More of God. More gifts. More salvations. More answered prayers. More healings. More growth. And I’ll probably always want it as soon as I ask.
But The Lord promises me grace for all the times I’m in a hurry and rush ahead.
My comfort comes from the fact that He never condemns or leaves me, He just waits for his little girl to walk back and say yes to waiting with Him.
