Many people don’t know this, but my best friend Carmen Eby is on the World Race, too! We launched in the same window, but are on different squads. Our Race experiences couldn’t be more different- her squad of 50 people and my squad of 24. She’s a squad leader, I was a team leader. Same same but different.
I thought it would be fun to have her write a guest blog for me about what it’s been like to have your best friend go on the world race from someone who’s actually on the race themselves.
I wasn’t expecting this encouraging response. I read it and wept because 1. I cry a lot now apparently and 2. I really needed to hear some of the things said in this post. Thank you Jesus for Carmen and for her friendship. Man, I’m so undeserving of this gal and the way she loves me so dang well.
“Obedience.
There is no one I know who does this better than Abby Eades.
She lives her life according to the motto- Do the hard things that matter with the people you love.
Even in the face of fear or hardship, she hears what God tells her to do and she obeys. Maybe not always immediately, but she does eventually. She has a fear of the Lord that I pray all of the Church will have in the years to come.
I met Abby when she was a little freshman in college. She was in the freshman bible study that I was leading.
She was so hungry to get all she could of the Lord.
I was drawn to her, as was the majority of the campus ministry, because she seemed so confident in who she was. (She wore her grandma’s clothes with no shame). But she had this balance of confidence and humility. She accepted the encouragement others gave her but it never went to her head.
She would go to Pastor Tim’s every monday night to do listening prayer. She heard so clearly from the Lord. I didn’t start listening prayer until I had graduated. I didn’t even know who I was when I was a freshman. She also helped out at the ministry anytime she could. I took a group every wednesday to Phoenix park to serve food to the homeless and she and my two other future roommates were always the consistent ones to come. I could always count on the three of them.
That year also happened to be the hardest year of my life, and she was there. When I was 18, I didn’t know how to love people well, I didn’t know how to not give up. But Abby did. She stood next to me when I feel like a lot of people chose to judge me and walk away. Even though I wasn’t perfect, she was still there to accept me and love me.
That’s who she is. A friend, a sister, a person who won’t give up, who loves deep.
She definitely contributed to me coming on the race. I had stuffed that call God had put on my heart back in 2012. I didn’t think it was for me anymore, even though I knew I was still called to missions. But she kept talking to me about it, and I just stayed quiet.
But she reminded me of obedience.
It’s been a different situation than most friendships, where it’s usually one friend on the race and one friend still at home, because I’m on the race as well. In some ways, it’s probably been easier and in some ways it’s probably been harder.
But I’ve seen the transformation in Abby without being face to face. In the way she cares and in the way she loves.
Before the race, Abby reacted out of her hurt.
Healing has taken place on the race for her and she can love others from the love that she knows the Father loves her with.
She has given me feedback personally, which is nice to have outside perspective from my squad. When I ask her advice about things I’m dealing with or working through on my squad, she always takes time to take it to the Lord and come back to me and speaks truth into me. She encourages me and sees me. And then she calls me higher in what she sees.
I’ve seen the footprints the World Race is leaving behind in her life.
When I give her feedback, she humbly receives it. She takes it to the Lord.
With both of us being on the race, I think Satan has tried to steal from both of us by putting comparison in our hearts from time to time. But now, I see her celebrating the work God is doing here in Ecuador, and I celebrate the work God is doing in Malaysia.
That’s what I’m thankful for- that no matter where God takes us, that we will be advancing the kingdom in whatever way God has called us to. Planting seeds and celebrating the harvest together.
I’m thankful for seasons. For the seasons to learn and embrace where God has you in the moment, with the people in that particular season. The season that I was friends with Abby before the race has led me to know how to comfort and encourage and speak into certain people on my squad. And the season of the World Race has equipped us to love each other and others at home in a deeper and better way.
Abby is changing the world one person at a time. That’s something I never have to question.
She has a passion for evangelism and for discipleship, and just wants to love others and tell them about Jesus. Before the race, there was one day that I asked Abby to pray for me but we were in public so she said she didn’t feel comfortable doing that. Now, she prays without ceasing and prays for others on a daily basis.
She has a child-like faith that everyone should desire. She has no fear of man. She sees people. She has compassion for people. One time when we were talking on the phone she started crying for someone close to me back home just at the mention of her name, because she knows that person is hurting and not living into who they truly are. She loves deeper than most people in the world.
So that’s what it’s like to have a best friend on the race. I am confident that when I get home, I’ll be greeting the same Abby, but a better version of herself.
When I met Abby, she had a hunger for the Lord, and that hunger has only gotten stronger. She just emailed me the other day and was just being honest and real about her desires to know God in the most intimate ways she could. She wanted the most of Jesus she could get, and she didn’t feel like that was happening. She ached for more of Jesus.
I think both Abby and I can look back and see mistakes we’ve made, but something I have learned on the race about community is what it looks like to love others well. Ever since I left home and became a college student, I have loved community. I love the picture of friends becoming family, of seeing the good and the bad, and loving you anyway. And for there being a humility behind it. Learning how selfish we can be, and learning from that.
But the race has shown me that there is even more, and I know it’s taught Abby the same. A lot of times with those closest to us, we don’t like to create conflict because conflict is bad, or we don’t want to say something to someone that could mold them into a better person because it’s “easier” to just not say anything. But the race has shown me, that if I really love a person, then I will say the hard things, and will be there in the hard work.
Abby and I can both tend to react and say hurtful things without thinking. But I think the race has taught us the power of the tongue. We can use it to build up or to tear down.
Abby is a builder at her core. She desires to build up.
I remember one conversation I was having with her several months ago. I was talking about being tired and not feeling like I could love anymore without feeling loved as much in return, and she said, “Maybe you’re just loving from the wrong well carms.” And she was right. I was loving from the well of carmen, and not the Lord’s.
The race has shown that to Abby. To love from the well of our Heavenly Father. That well never runs out. We always have access to it. And that’s the well I see Abby loving her team with, her ministry with, and herself with.
So obedience. That’s what Abby will point you to. I am a person that tends to think I am right a lot of the time. I think evangelism and discipleship should look a certain way. But Abby has shown me what it looks like to first hear what God says and even if it doesn’t make sense or seems hard, to do it anyway. To trust. She trusts God so deeply.
And for those who have gotten to know Abby on the race, I know you’ve seen all the same things, because that’s who she is. She doesn’t conform to those around her. And she has brought that into the people she loves.
I hope the same is true for everyone, that the race has blessed them with a picture of true community. Not an unrealistic bubble. But an environment of life-giving lessons and testimonies. Just like it did for my best friend.
Do the hard things that matter with the people you love.
Keep doing you Abs.
-Carms”
Thanks Carms for loving me hard. For accepting my encouragement and for encouraging me back. For loving me when I needed to be loved the most.
Everyone, go get yourself a friend who is sold out for Jesus and your life will never be he same!
