You know that feeling that you’d get when you were a little kid and you saw all of your Christmas gifts under the tree? You knew they were yours. They had your name on them. They’d already been promised to you. You could see them and you could reach out and open them right then and there, but you had to wait until Christmas morning to open them. It took everything in you not to shake them or open them a little just to see what was inside and then quickly tape it up before your mom saw what you did.
That’s what it was like for me to wait on God’s promise of the World Race.
Right after I graduated high school, I went on a mission trip with my youth group. I was baptized on that trip and my life was changed forever. I came home knowing that I was called to missions. I had heard stories about this mission trip called the World Race, and I started to look into it more. After the first click on their website, I knew that this was what The Lord had for me.
I was a recent high school graduate, so my only option was World Race Gap Year. I took the “Do you have what it takes?” quiz and was excited to receive an email stating that, yes, I did have what it takes to live the World Race life. (its very easy to get a yes on that quiz people)
I was so pumped. Honestly I wanted to say, “To heck with college! I’m going on the World Race!” But the Lord quietly whispered, “Wait.”
I was furious. Why, God? Why plant this seed of a promise in my heart only to tease me and ask me to not do it yet?
Since the day that I heard the Lord say wait, I was like a little kid on Christmas Eve just itching to rip open those promised gifts with my name on them.
I visited the World Race website more than I’d care to admit. I watched video blogs, constantly checked their social media sites, read current and past racers blogs, and drooled over the routes that were posted. I even started to fill out a couple of applications during my early college years. But each time I went to do it, I heard that still small voice whisper to my heart, “Wait, dear one.”
I’d be lying to you if I told you I wasn’t angry with the Lord. And very confused. It was a constant conversation between us. “God, why do you want me to wait?” “God, this isn’t fair of you to ask of me.” “God, can’t I just fill out the application to see if I even get accepted?” Actually, it was a lot less of a conversation between us and more like me complaining and whining to Him.
“Daddy, please can I open JUST ONE?”
The World Race and missions had been prophetically spoken over my life many times throughout college. I would go to listening prayer nights with my friends on Friday nights and people that I had never met before would pray for me and receive visions of me serving the least of these or receive words for me about missions or God’s heart for the nations. I once met a girl, who now is a good friend, at a coffee shop one night when she looked up from her laptop at me from a different table and said, “Hi, I don’t know you but I feel like I’m supposed to tell you about this thing called the World Race.”
I can’t make this stuff up, people.
I had many angsty thoughts towards Him. My impatience was unreal.
By the time my junior year of college rolled around, I was just about ready to give up on that promise. I was ready to give up on that dream. I was ready to rip that seed out of the soil of my heart and throw it to the birds to eat up.
One day I was doing the usual “browse the routes, drool over them, leave the website and feel sorry for myself” routine. Only this time, I didn’t leave the website. The Lord highlighted a route that was posted and I clicked on it and heard the Lord whisper to my heart, “Go.”
I wasn’t so sure He had it right.
I was in the first semester of my junior year of college. I was supposed to graduate next year… how was I supposed to keep my scholarship if I dropped out of school? I had already put so much time and effort into getting this degree and now He’s telling me to drop out of school and miss my senior year with my friends. This just wasn’t good timing for me.
I filled out the application for this route, waited on my phone interview and finally got a call from my precious mobilizer (love you Bells) who told me that I had been accepted to go on the World Race in August of 2017.
My first thoughts were, “My parents are gonna kill me.”
I didn’t tell them I was applying to go on the Race until after I had been accepted… Sorry Mom and Dad.
I told them I had decided to go on the Race and was met with the normal parent reactions I’m sure every Racer has faced. “What about school?” “What about money?” “It’s so dangerous to travel internationally these days.” “Do you know these people at all?” “Are you sure this isn’t a cult?” (lol the dreaded world race cult question) “What if you get sick or hurt?”
I honestly didn’t know how to answer their questions. In all my years of waiting I had done so much research on the Race. I knew their heart for the nations was genuine, I knew their discipleship training was intense, and I knew I’d have to fundraise the money for my year of mission work if I wanted to get out on the field. But I didn’t know how to answer the “what if” and “what about” questions that my parents and everyone else was asking me. All I knew is that I had to go. I was called to this almost 4 years before this moment and now was the time that the Lord had asked me to go and I wasn’t about to say no.
I walked into my academic advisors office one day to tell her that i was going to be taking a year off of school to do the World Race. It was one of the hardest moments in the process leading up to me leaving for the Race. I am on scholarship at UK and I knew that leaving school meant losing that scholarship and graduating at least one semester later than all of my friends.
I’ll never forget the moment that my advisor looked at me and said, “I’m gonna get you school credit for this.” My jaw dropped open. How? What? How?!
For those of you that don’t know, my major is community and leadership development. I pretty much study the World Race. My advisor saw an opportunity for me to learn about community development and put into practice all that I had been learning in my classes on the international mission field.
We put together a learning plan and it was accepted by my college pretty quickly. I was in total shock. I had no idea that this would ever be a possibility. I was going to be enrolled as a full time student at UK while on the World Race.
This was better than anything I ever could have imagined for myself. I would keep my scholarship and be enrolled full time my senior year of college doing what I loved to do on the mission field.
The seed that God had planted in my heart so many years before this moment had finally grown into a giant, beautiful Sequoia tree.
This past year of my life has been an incredible time of growth for me. The World Race is nothing that I ever thought it would be or even wanted it to be, but everything I needed it to be.
The song that inspired this blog is called “Seasons.” It talks about how nature acquaints us with the nature of patience. Watching seeds grow into beautiful Sequoia trees- It doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes it takes years for seeds to even break the surface of the soil with a sprout. But when you finally see that big, beautiful tree towering over you. All the waiting, all the tears and angsty thoughts- they disappear and are replaced with awe of what God did. Because it’s always bigger and better than what you wanted or expected from Him.
He really is the God of seasons. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was just in the winter. I was in the waiting. The seed had been planted, but it wasn’t time for it to break the soil just yet.
“If all I know of harvest
Is that it’s worth my patience
Then if You’re not done working
God I’m not done waiting”
This year has been a harvest year for me. I have gotten to reap what the Lord has been sewing into the soil of my heart for years.
Let me tell you, it was worth my patience (if you can even call it that). Knowing what I know now, I’d do it all over again. The angsty thoughts, the tears, the waiting. Because I know now that the harvest is always going to be worth my patience.
“And when I finally see my tree
Still I believe there’s a season to come”
The World Race has been my Sequoia tree. I’ve gotten to stand under my big, beautiful tree this year and thank God for the gift that it has been. For His faithfulness to keep his promises to me. And for the harvest that I’ve been given.
In just 20 short days, my feet will land on US soil. The World Race is coming to an end, as is this season of my life. Am I ready for it? I don’t really know. But what I do know is this- the ending of one season brings the beginning of another. And I’m so excited to enter a new season with the Lord in the coming months.
Whatever seeds the Lord plants, whatever promises He gives me, I know now that they will be worth my patience and that He will be faithful to keep His promises.
“For your promise is loyal
From seed to Sequoia”
