"So, on one of our off days we can go scuba diving," our leader told us. I immediately got super excited as this was something I always wanted to do. So, of course I said I would definitely go, no matter what it cost.
Fast forward to the instruction time. We had already watched an introductory video and put on our wet suit, flippers and mask. Our vests and tanks were fitted and into the shallow water we went. At this time I was still super excited. I couldn't wait to get under the water, figure out how to do this thing, and see what there was to see, because apparently we were over a pretty awesome reef.
Then it was time to go under the water. That is when the freaking out began. Thoughts of
"how to I breathe?"
"I can't stay under, I keep floating!"
"oh no…wait, breath in, breath out"
"I don't think I can do this!!!!"
"But God, I really wanted to scuba dive, it was on my bucket list"
"no, this is not ok, I have to go back up"
I really considered counting my loss, quitting, and just snorkeling the rest of the day, because snorkeling is something I knew I could do and would enjoy.
Pretty much I hated it and was psyching myself out. I was convincing myself it was too hard and there was no way I would be ok. This is not normal for me, as I hate to quit, but, it was the honest truth.
I prayed myself through the class and somehow survived. After a break for lunch it was time to actually go on our dive. I was nervous, because this meant being under water for more than 2 minutes, but I was reminding myself how cool it would be to swim along the bottom of the ocean seeing the fish and coral and all the other awesome things God created.
So, I went. After a deep breath I jumped back in the water and found it so much easier to swim and breath, rather than stay in one location like we did for the class. After a little trouble equalizing (or clearing the pressure in your ears) I had an awesome instructor who stayed with me the whole time. Once I finally go the hang of it I remembered to be aware of my surroundings and I was greeted with amazing scenes everywhere I looked. It finally felt natural, and most importantly I was finally enjoying it, not wanting the dive to end.
How often does this happen in life. God tells us something and we are apprehensive at best. We are unsure, nervous about what others will think or how it will affect our us. Sometimes we don't know if we can do it, we don't know how we will have the strength to go on. But God will provide the strength. He will provide everything you need. And once you get through the hard part, it will be worth it. There is a huge reward waiting at the end. That is the lesson I learned while scuba diving (and yes, I want to do it again!)
