I stress out a lot in life. Even though Malealea Valley is a place of peaceful meadows and fields and looks like it came right out of a Hidden Valley Ranch commercial, stress has not eluded me here. I don’t know if it is spiritual warfare or coping habits that I’ve developed over the past eighteen years of my life. Probably a little bit of both if I’m honest. Being in this beautiful valley of peace, serenity, and flexibility, the contrast of my goal-driven type A personality and the environment has caused me to face the issues I have with worry and progress addiction head on.
A big way that my worry has manifested here is getting really frustrated and carrying burdens that I don’t need to. For a long time, I stressed out about our ministry doing the Holiday Club/ VBS with the local kids here. I really enjoyed spending 4 days a week singing, playing games, telling stories, and getting to know all of the children, but we quickly found that we couldn’t do it in our own strength. It takes a lot of energy to keep this up for four days a week for a month straight, more than we had. I worried a lot about giving 100% in the VBS and not having enough energy and stamina to keep going. Instead of letting the worry build up and consume me, I prayed about it. My prayer was answered and God provided. Beginning in January, we switched from the Holiday Club with the kids to doing village ministry. Monday through Thursday in the mornings, we go into the village closest to us and go house to house and help in whatever way they ask us to. Sometimes that looks like fetching water, sometimes it’s doing laundry, and sometimes it’s just praying and singing. It’s just the change of pace that my team needed. I’ve loved going to the same houses day after day, building relationships, and getting to meet the families of some of the children who attended holiday club.
I’ve seen this pattern of worry, prayer, and provision on several occasions during my time here in Lesotho. I was worried about my first Christmas away from home and how it would turn out spending it in an African village. On Christmas Eve night, I knew that everything would be okay. The whole base gathered under a magnificent sky of stars and sang Christmas carols. There was such a beautiful sense of peace and that feeling of family and community that can only come on Christmas. Even though I was not in California with my own family, I felt at home in my heart with my family in Christ surrounding me. In church on Christmas day, we danced and danced and laughed like never before and ate a pig they had named ‘Christmas’ months before just for the special day. It was absolutely delicious and I can say that this Christmas was probably one of the best I’ve had yet.
Another thing I’ve prayed for is the opportunity to sing and proclaim as well as experience God in that way. I’ve known from the first Sunday in church hearing the deep beauty of the Basotho people’s voices mingling loudly in harmony praising our Father that that was something I wanted. He’s provided in beautiful ways better than I could have even imagined. Christmas Eve was truly a notable night in that aspect. Many peaceful afternoons and starry nights, a group of us will gather and sing with a guitar. I’m so thankful for every single voice; singing together is something that really fills my soul. My favorite way I’ve seen this request answered is in our village ministry. Oftentimes we’ll end up singing for hours at someone’s house, both songs in English and Sesotho. Children from the village will hear the singing and come join in. Some of the most beautiful moments I’ve experienced on my adventure so far are in these houses where people who’ve never met can come together and praise our Father in many languages.
One particular song that has been special to me my whole life and that has become even more so here is “Be Still and Know”. My sweet Sunday school teacher Miss Ellen taught it to me when I was just a toddler. I remember even from that age feeling the sense of awe at how loving and comforting our Father is. When I was older, I was able to teach it to kids in my church for Sunday school. I’m now passing it onto Malealea Valley. I’ve taught it to my team and we often sing it in the houses or during worship at the base. Personally, this song has been close to my heart in this season in Lesotho. It is an answer to my anxious questioning and an anchor when my thoughts are racing with worry. The song says, “Be still and know that I am God”. Whenever I’m stressing out, this precious song comes into my mind and reminds me how simple it really all is. All I need to do is rely on Him and He will provide. Something I’ve found about myself here is that my drive and motivation to move forward is a gift, and although I’ve always thought it to be a positive thing because it’s made me successful in many areas in my life in my own strength, it’s not always healthy. Worry is a side effect of this control I take with my goal driven mindset in my relationship with God. Too often I use my drive and motivation as something to fall back on to feel like I’m moving forward and progressing in life when in reality I need to have a simple trust in the power of my God and follow Him blindly into wherever He is leading without having it all figured our every step of the way. “Be Still and Know” has been my constant mantra and theme song here in Malealea Valley to remind me that my Father has it all figured out for me.
One of my favorite chapters and one that I constantly return to as a chronic worrier is Matthew 6. It talks about how we don’t need to worry because God will provide for us. I especially like Matthew 6:33 “Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.” I’ve seen Him do this for me here in Lesotho and I’m working toward trusting Him to do this for me for the rest of my life.
