Throughout the year, I have written stories of precious moments, challenges, and lessons learned on this journey. As I would sit down to write these things, I would struggle to find the words that really give insight into the overwhelming emotion that my heart would be feeling. Nonetheless, I would write, sharing these indescribable moments with underqualified adjectives such as “awesome”, “amazing” or “really hard.”
There is a realization in my heart that this journey that I have been on for the last eleven months will never fully be understood or cherished in the way I do by others. But honestly, that’s part of the beauty of it.
Jesus has taken me on such an intimately beautiful adventure this year, and showed me things along the way that I will never forget.
The Abby Stewart that left America last January isn’t coming home. In fact, she is gone forever. The way that Jesus has radically altered my heart, my desires, and my vision for the world has redefined the very essence of who I am.
In exactly one week, I will be sitting in my kitchen, probably drinking coffee with my mom, sharing stories, memories and laughs. Once again, my words escape me in expressing exactly how I feel about this.
A magnitude of emotions flood my mind ranging from excited to afraid. The forty people that I have traveled with this year will scatter across the country, back to their homes and the people they have talked about all year, and I’ll be with mine. There are a handful of moments and comforts that have me pretty wound up about stepping foot back onto American soil, my family being at the front of that list. My bed, favorite foods, friends, a warm shower, and owning more than six shirts and two pants, is enough to send me over the edge with excitement.
But if I am being completely honest, there is an anticipation that leaves me a little afraid of next week. It’s a fear of the moment, perhaps sitting alone in my room, or even in a room filled with people, and hearing the words “The adventure is over” ring in my mind.
What will happen when I realize that I am standing in the midst of everything I missed this last year but remain homesick for the way that I had to completely depend on Jesus for my comfort, and my strength. What heartbreak and tears will overcome me when I share pictures of the happiest people I have ever met, living in the dirtiest and poorest place I have ever visited?
As I have prepared my heart to go home over the last three weeks, I have been surrendering these thoughts, and asking Jesus to fully prepare my heart for what will be, my final and biggest transition this year. He has been faithful to give me a simple and beautiful promise, which I will carry in my heart home with me.
“I HAVE AN EVEN GREATER ADVENTURE FOR YOU.”
I feel Him whispering into my heart that this year will not be the pinnacle of my life with Jesus, but a road trip to where He is wanting to take me next. As of right now, I do not know the destination, but I know that my Jesus will guide me and direct my steps, like He has in each moment this year.
I thank Jesus for the amazing gift this year has been. The blessings, the hardships, the laughs and tears, and the people He gave me to support and love me through it. I am so ready to continue on, knowing that my Greatest Adventure is still ahead of me.
See you in America next week!
Abby
